Finding Light in Our Patterns: A Journey of Change

"I guess I'm not that kind of person. I can't hear so many accusations directed at me—accusations that aren't true—and just absorb them," Amit concluded.

"He only absorbs what he wants to absorb. I'm tired of constantly bringing complaints to him. Another man, a bit more attentive and oriented toward his wife, would understand and embrace…" Sarah responded.

"So why did you marry me?" Amit snapped angrily, cutting her off.

"That's exactly the question I've been asking myself for 20 years," Sarah said.

"I really feel like we're not compatible if Sarah has been walking around all these years of our marriage feeling this way. Don’t you think?" Amit asked me.

"I think there's no couple better and more perfect than you two to help each other go through true healing of the soul and give it freedom and recovery," I replied.

"Recovery? She just makes me sicker," Amit replied sarcastically.

"Let's talk a bit about the soul and healing. Each of you, in your childhood, adapted patterns and perceptions built on cause and effect. These patterns provided you with security and answers to your feelings of uncertainty in life, on one hand, and on the other hand—often limited your ability to develop and created blockages in your body and soul.

"These blockages are often the source of our physical and emotional ailments. The sources of failure.

"A large part of these patterns is ingrained in us and can remain inside us unless we decide to make a change. They are recorded in our bodies from a very young age. As we grow and mature, we build a whole world of emotions and intellect around these mechanisms and patterns. We walk around the world feeling that this is reality and that we have no other way to navigate through it.

"The moment an event occurs, or someone presses our internal button, emotions and thoughts immediately surface and govern our response to the event.

"When this happens, we become the very pattern itself. We act automatically and fail to notice that all our systems have been activated and that we are in an emotional and cognitive system over which we have no real control. This is how we can live our entire lives in relentless suffering, within a system where we have no choice. We are coerced but convinced that this is the only possible reality. Patterns of failure obscure who we could be in this world. Our role is to be the light. We diminish and restrict ourselves so much, and when our light begins to shine, we understand what an insult it is to who we thought we were.

"The experiences that shaped these patterns are Hashem's way of preparing the groundwork for our healing. Through this healing, we can create change in our systems and mechanisms of failure and reveal the power of choice within our souls.

"As long as we continue to resist the need for change, we will encounter our failure mechanisms in painful and difficult forms, in various situations.

"A couple's relationship, where two souls connect in a process of awakening and mutual healing, confronts the failure mechanisms with intensity, allowing each partner to embark on the journey of healing, repair, and release."

"How can we change this? It feels like it's part of me," Sarah asked.

"You're right. We are so identified with these patterns that we feel like they are us. Within a safe space, where we allow ourselves to go into a world of imagination, we can observe these patterns from the outside and recognize them. Once we learn to recognize them, we can move to the next stage and reveal the choice system that exists within each of us.

"Of course, all this cannot happen if you are in a place of despair and resignation. When we uncover the power of choice, we can create a practical toolkit to use at every moment of our lives. Through this toolkit, we will generate a system of activation buttons that will activate the choice system at every moment. Thus, we can begin to change those ancient patterns that have directed us until now and disrupted our lives.

"Once again, it is important for you to understand that change cannot occur without genuine, committed, and honest work. The more you learn and persist in repeating this movement from failure to choice, the more new patterns will gradually form. With this movement, the transition from failure to choice, new circles will begin to form, leading you to new places that your soul has discovered can be reached, and you will begin to move toward inner freedom, allowing you to uncover your true essence in the world."

Inspired by the D'Myonova Method (from the facilitator training studies at the D'Myonova Institute).

Hannah Dayan [email protected]

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