Omer Period Laws: Q&A on Weddings, Music, Haircuts and More

1. On Which Dates Are Weddings Not Permitted?

The widespread custom throughout Jewish communities is not to hold weddings during the days of the Omer, from Passover until the thirty fourth day of the Omer. This practice commemorates the death of twenty four thousand students of Rabbi Akiva who died during this period from a plague. Because of this tragedy, the Jewish people adopted customs of mourning and avoid celebrations during these days.

Since the students stopped dying shortly before Shavuot, approximately fifteen days before the festival, which corresponds to the thirty fourth day of the Omer, weddings are permitted from that day onward. This is the practice among Sephardic Jews and communities of the Eastern diaspora, who allow weddings beginning on the thirty fourth day of the Omer and thereafter.

Ashkenazi communities follow the ruling of Rabbi Moshe Isserles, known as the Rema, who permits weddings beginning on Lag BaOmer, the thirty third day of the Omer. Those who are lenient and allow weddings already on the night of Lag BaOmer have authorities on whom they can rely.

It is therefore appropriate that marriage registrars in Israel inform Sephardic couples who wish to marry on Lag BaOmer that this is not the Sephardic custom, and that weddings should not be conducted before the morning of the thirty fourth day of the Omer. In pressing circumstances, however, it is possible to conduct a wedding on the evening of Lag BaOmer after nightfall, which already counts as the beginning of the thirty fourth day. From that point onward, weddings may be held every day, and each community should follow its own tradition.

2. Is It Permitted to Listen to Recorded Music?

It is proper to be stringent during the days of the Omer and refrain from listening to songs accompanied by musical instruments, even when played through the radio or a recording device.

3. Is It Permitted to Sing Songs of Praise to God Without Instruments?

Singing with one's voice alone, when it is an expression of gratitude and praise to God and not accompanied by musical instruments, is permitted during these days. It is certainly permissible to chant melodies during prayer or while studying Torah. This is especially true on Shabbat during the Omer period, and there is no reason to be strict about this.

4. Is Music Permitted at a Celebration of a Mitzvah?

At a celebration connected to a mitzvah, such as a brit milah even if it is performed later than the eighth day, a pidyon haben even if delayed, the completion of a tractate of Talmud, or a bar mitzvah held on the day the boy turns thirteen, it is permitted to play sacred songs accompanied by musical instruments. Since it is a celebration of a mitzvah, leniency is allowed.

For this reason it is also permitted to participate in a procession accompanying the dedication of a Torah scroll during the Omer period with musical instruments.

Engagement ceremonies, known as tenaim, may also be held during the Omer. However, the celebration should be modest, with singing by voice only and not with instruments. It is permitted to serve sweets and refreshments. Dancing and optional festive celebrations are not permitted during the Omer period.

5. Is Music Allowed on Lag BaOmer in Honor of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai?

On the night of Lag BaOmer and the following day it is customary to be lenient and allow songs accompanied by musical instruments, including recorded music, in honor of the celebration of the great sage Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai.

6. When Is It Permitted to Cut Hair or Shave?

The common Sephardic custom is not to cut hair during the days of the Omer until the morning of the thirty fourth day of the Omer. Unlike the Ashkenazi custom, Sephardic communities do not cut hair on Lag BaOmer itself but wait until the next morning. After that time, haircuts are permitted at any time.

If Lag BaOmer falls on a Friday, Sephardim may also cut their hair on that day in honor of Shabbat. If someone is unable to do so during the day on Friday, it is permitted to cut hair on Thursday night in preparation for Shabbat.

Those who are careful in observing religious practices also avoid shaving their beards during the Omer period. Some people find it very difficult to wait so long, and therefore some rely on an opinion that permits shaving on Rosh Chodesh Iyar. Others who follow the tradition of Rabbi Yehuda HaChasid not to cut hair on any Rosh Chodesh may shave on the day before Rosh Chodesh Iyar.

In years when Rosh Chodesh Iyar falls on Sunday, shaving may be done on the preceding Friday in honor of Shabbat. Some authorities also suggest that if a person suffers greatly from not shaving during the Omer, and there is a strong need, it may be permitted to shave every Friday in honor of Shabbat, since earlier halachic authorities did not address shaving the beard in their discussions. Nevertheless, it is considered proper and commendable to maintain the custom of refraining from shaving as well. This practice is commonly followed today by yeshiva students and many observant householders.

7. Are Women Also Prohibited from Cutting Their Hair During the Omer?

Women are not included in the prohibition of haircuts during the days of the Omer.

8. Is It Permitted to Cut Fingernails?

Yes. It is permitted to cut fingernails during the Omer period.

9. Is the Blessing Shehecheyanu Permitted During the Omer?

It is permissible to recite the blessing Shehecheyanu over a new fruit during the days of the Omer, both on weekdays and on Shabbat. Even someone who previously adopted the stricter custom of avoiding the blessing during the Omer may discontinue that practice without a formal annulment, even if they were aware that it was a personal stringency.

Regarding wearing new clothing during the Omer, some adopt an added measure of piety based on a tradition recorded in the work Yosef Ometz, which suggests avoiding new garments beginning from Rosh Chodesh Iyar. When necessary, it is preferable to wear the new garment on Shabbat during the Omer and recite the blessing Shehecheyanu then.

At celebrations such as a bar mitzvah or brit milah during the Omer, it is clearly permitted to wear new clothing. This discussion applies only to clothing that normally brings joy and requires the blessing Shehecheyanu, such as shirts or trousers. New undergarments or socks do not require the blessing in any case.

Some also avoid sewing or tailoring new clothing during this time, although there are authorities who are lenient. Those who wish to follow a higher standard of piety may choose to be careful about this as well.

10. Is It Permitted to Move Into a New Home During the Omer?

Someone who has the opportunity to move into a new apartment during the Omer may do so without concern and does not need to delay moving until after Lag BaOmer. This applies even if the move is simply for greater comfort.

It is also permitted to paint or decorate the home before moving in. A house dedication meal may be held during the Omer if Torah teachings are shared there, which gives the gathering the status of a mitzvah celebration. This is especially meaningful in the Land of Israel, where settling the land itself is considered a mitzvah.

A person may also recite the blessing Shehecheyanu when entering the new home by wearing a new garment or eating a new fruit. However, during the house dedication gathering, music played with instruments, including recorded music, should not be played until the thirty fourth day of the Omer.

11. Is There a Change in the Prayers on Lag BaOmer?

On Lag BaOmer the penitential prayers, including Vidui and Tachanun, are omitted from the daily prayers.