A Special Omer Practice: Customs, Meaning, and a Story You’ll Remember

A. The sacred books teach that the days of the Omer are a propitious time to draw down holiness from Above, and their sanctity resembles the days of Chol HaMoed. Therefore, in these days we should invest more time and energy than usual in the study of the Torah and the fulfillment of the mitzvot, so that we merit receiving the Torah in fullness.

B. In the days between Pesach and Lag BaOmer, we observe certain mourning customs. Why? There are several reasons: a. Because during this period 24,000 students of Rabbi Akiva died for not showing proper respect to one another. b. Because, according to Rabbi Yochanan ben Nuri, the judgment of the wicked in Gehinnom is from Pesach until Shavuot, and we, the living, share in their sorrow. c. Because these days are a time of judgment over the grain. Therefore, we keep these practices to remind ourselves to steer clear of jealousy and hatred, lust and pursuit of honor, and to acquire the traits of humility and peace.

C. Marriage — It is forbidden to marry during these days so as not to increase rejoicing. Experience shows that those who violate this and marry during these days do not see their match prosper.

D. A divorced man may remarry his former wife during the Omer, since this does not involve as much festivity.

E. The custom among the Sephardim is to forbid weddings until the 34th day of the Omer, while among the Ashkenazim there are multiple customs, and each person should follow the practice of his ancestors. A Sephardi who did not know that one should wait until the 34th of the Omer, and scheduled his wedding for Lag BaOmer and has already sent the invitations — is permitted to hold the wedding.

F. It is permitted to hold a seudat shidduchin and tenaim (a vort), as well as erusin, during these days, but without dancing and without listening to music.

G. Haircuts — The practice is not to take a haircut from Pesach until Lag BaOmer, and among the Sephardim the practice is to wait until the 34th of the Omer. This custom applies to men only.

H. Here too the customs of the Ashkenazim are divided, and each person should follow his family’s practice.

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King Solomon — the wisest of all people — said (Mishlei 12:5):

"The thoughts of the righteous are justice; the schemes of the wicked are deceit."

"The thoughts of the righteous are justice" — The very first thought that comes to the minds of the righteous is justice — that is, truth and integrity — whereas the wicked immediately look for a scheme and a deception. As they tell it: a certain driver ignored a "STOP" sign. When the police officer stopped him and asked to see his license, he claimed he didn’t have one. When the officer asked for proof of insurance, he said he didn’t have that either. Vehicle inspection? Also none. Seeing this, the officer summoned him to court. In court the judge asked, "What about your license?" and the driver produced a valid license. "And your insurance?" The driver pulled out full coverage. Then the inspection… After the judge asked, "How is this possible? The officer testifies that you said you didn’t have any of it!" the driver replied, "He’s just making it up! In a minute he’ll also tell you I didn’t stop at the \"STOP\"..."

Why is it so? Because the wicked live crookedly! They do whatever their heart desires, and only afterward look for a way to deal with the consequences... But the righteous — their first thought is to tell the truth! Sadly, today when someone flashes a big smile at a friend and asks, "What’s up? How are you feeling?.." the other immediately thinks to himself, "I wonder what he needs from me..." Everything looks like a ploy, everything looks like deceit... It’s a terrible reality. Therefore, draw close to the righteous, for their first instinct is always to walk with straightness and faith.

They tell of a Jew in the Diaspora who managed to obtain approval for aliyah to Eretz Yisrael. Before setting out, he went to the rabbi and asked: "Rabbi, in a few days I’ll appear before the authorities at the border, and since I have no identification card, they will ask me how old I am. I’ve come to get your advice: What should I say? Should I exaggerate and give an age older than I am, or perhaps say I’m younger than I am?" The rabbi didn’t understand the question and asked in return, "And why not simply tell them your exact age?" He answered, a bit sheepishly: "Mm... to be honest, I hadn’t thought of that..."