Music, Haircuts, and New Clothes: What We Do (and Don’t) During the Omer

Mourning Customs During the Omer

Rabbi Akiva had 24,000 students—righteous and of exceptional spiritual stature—and they all died in a plague from Pesach until Lag BaOmer, because they did not show proper respect to one another (on their level).

In memory of that tragedy, and to highlight how important it is to honor others, we refrain during these days from listening to music, holding weddings, and getting haircuts.

No Weddings

1. Sephardi communities do not hold weddings until the 34th day of the Omer, and Ashkenazi communities permit them from Lag BaOmer onward.

2. If the groom is Sephardi and the bride is Ashkenazi, or vice versa—the practice follows the groom.
 

Music and Celebratory Meals

1. Playing instrumental music is prohibited.

2. At a mitzvah celebration such as a brit milah, pidyon haben (even if not on its regular day), a siyum on a tractate, or a Bar Mitzvah (for someone who turns 13 on that Hebrew date)—it is permitted to listen to sacred songs accompanied by instruments during the celebration, as well as at a dedication of a Sefer Torah.

3. Dancing at a mitzvah celebration is permitted (mixed dancing is always prohibited).

4. It is permitted to hold an engagement agreement called 'tenaim' during the Omer with light refreshments, but do not play music—singing by voice only.

Haircuts and Shaving

1. For Sephardim, the custom is not to take haircuts until the 34th day of the Omer, and for Ashkenazim it is permitted on Lag BaOmer only, and thereafter from the 5th of Sivan onward.

2. In principle, women are not prohibited from haircuts during these days. Some Ashkenazi women are stringent about this.

3. The custom is not to shave the beard during the Omer. One who is very distressed may shave on Rosh Chodesh Iyar. And with great need, one may be lenient and shave every Friday in honor of Shabbat (and of course not with a razor, which is a severe prohibition from the Torah all year).

4. When a brit milah takes place during the Omer, the baby’s father, the sandak, and the mohel may take a haircut and shave that day, as it is considered a personal holiday for them.

If there is a reason preventing them from getting a haircut on the day of the brit, they may get one the day before. Likewise, if the brit is on Sunday—it is permitted to get a haircut on Friday.

5. A Bar Mitzvah boy may take a haircut in honor of his celebration, provided it is held on his actual Bar Mitzvah day.

So, too, someone released from prison or returning from overseas may take a haircut.

6. Those who follow practices based on Kabbalah customarily do not take haircuts or shave on Erev Shavuot, the 49th day of the Omer (even if a brit milah occurs during the Omer). One who has practiced this and wishes to annul the custom and take a haircut on the 34th day of the Omer should seek a formal annulment before a beit din.

7. Even according to the Kabbalists’ custom, when Shabbat falls on Erev Shavuot, one takes a haircut on Friday, so as not to enter the festival unkempt.

8. Trimming nails is permitted during the Omer.

The Shehecheyanu Blessing

1. It is permitted to recite Shehecheyanu during the Omer over a new fruit, both on weekdays and on Shabbat.

2. The custom is to be stringent and not wear a new garment and recite Shehecheyanu except on Shabbat. At a celebration of a brit milah, Bar Mitzvah, etc., people are lenient.

3. Throughout the year, one recites Shehecheyanu for a garment that brings joy, such as a shirt or pants, but not for undershirts, underwear, and the like.

4. The custom is not to alter or sew new clothing.

5. A bride and groom may buy new clothing and debut it during the Omer.

6. Moving homes is permitted during the Omer.

It is permitted to paint or hang wallpaper before moving in.

A housewarming is permitted, but do not play music—singing by voice only.

One may recite Shehecheyanu upon moving into a new home, and it is proper to say it over a fruit or garment with intent to cover the move as well.

Going to the Beach and Pool

1. It is permitted to travel and to swim at the beach/pool during the Omer.