Eshet Chayil: The Deep Meaning Of The Woman Of Valor

אֵשֶׁת-חַיִל, מִי יִמְצָא; וְרָחֹק מִפְּנִינִים מִכְרָהּ

Eshet Chayil mi yimtza; verachok mipninim michrah

בָּטַח בָּהּ, לֵב בַּעְלָהּ; וְשָׁלָל, לֹא יֶחְסָר

Batach bah lev ba'alah; veshalal lo yechsar

גְּמָלַתְהוּ טוֹב וְלֹא רָע, כֹּל, יְמֵי חַיֶּיהָ

Gemalat-hu tov velo ra; kol yemei chayeiha

דָּרְשָׁה, צֶמֶר וּפִשְׁתִּים; וַתַּעַשׂ, בְּחֵפֶץ כַּפֶּיהָ

Darsha tzemer ufishtim; vata'as becheifetz kapeiha

הָיְתָה, כָּאֳנִיּוֹת סוֹחֵר; מִמֶּרְחָק, תָּבִיא לַחְמָה

ּ Haita keoniyot socheir; mimerchak tavi lachmah

וַתָּקָם, בְּעוֹד לַיְלָה, וַתִּתֵּן טֶרֶף לְבֵיתָהּ; וְחֹק, לְנַעֲרֹתֶיהָ

Vatakam be'od laila vatitein teref leveitah; vechok lenaaroteiha

זָמְמָה שָׂדֶה, וַתִּקָּחֵהוּ; מִפְּרִי כַפֶּיהָ, נָטְעָה כָּרֶם

Zamema sadeh vatikachehu; mipri kapeiha nat'ah karem

חָגְרָה בְעוֹז מָתְנֶיהָ; וַתְּאַמֵּץ, זְרוֹעֹתֶיהָ

Chagra be'oz motneiha; vate'ameitz zrooteiha

טָעֲמָה, כִּי טוֹב סַחְרָהּ; לֹא יִכְבֶּה בליל נֵרָה

ּ Ta'ama ki tov sachrah; lo yichbeh balaila neirah

יָדֶיהָ, שִׁלְּחָה בַכִּישׁוֹר; וְכַפֶּיהָ, תָּמְכוּ פָלֶךְ

Yadeiha shilcha vakishor; vechapeiha tamchu falech

כַּפָּהּ, פָּרְשָׂה לֶעָנִי; וְיָדֶיהָ, שִׁלְּחָה לָאֶבְיוֹן

Kapah parsa le'ani; veyadeiha shilcha la'evyon

לֹא תִירָא לְבֵיתָהּ מִשָּׁלֶג: כִּי כָל בֵּיתָהּ, לָבֻשׁ שָׁנִים

Lo tira leveitah mishaleg; ki chol beitah lavush shanim

מַרְבַדִּים עָשְׂתָה לָּהּ; שֵׁשׁ וְאַרְגָּמָן לְבוּשָׁה

ּ Marvadim asta lah; shesh ve'argaman levushah

נוֹדָע בַּשְּׁעָרִים בַּעְלָהּ; בְּשִׁבְתּוֹ, עִם זִקְנֵי אָרֶץ

Noda bashe'arim ba'alah; beshivto im ziknei aretz

סָדִין עָשְׂתָה, וַתִּמְכֹּר; וַחֲגוֹר, נָתְנָה לַכְּנַעֲנִי

Sadin asta vatimkor; vachagor natna lachna'ani

עֹז וְהָדָר לְבוּשָׁהּ; וַתִּשְׂחַק, לְיוֹם אַחֲרוֹן

Oz vehadar levushah; vatischak leyom acharon

פִּיהָ, פָּתְחָה בְחָכְמָה; וְתוֹרַת חֶסֶד, עַל-לְשׁוֹנָהּ

Piha patcha vechochma; vetorat chesed al leshonah

צוֹפִיָּה, הֲלִיכוֹת בֵּיתָהּ; וְלֶחֶם עַצְלוּת, לֹא תֹאכֵל

Tzofiya halichot beitah; velechem atzlut lo tocheil

קָמוּ בָנֶיהָ, וַיְאַשְּׁרוּהָ; בַּעְלָהּ, וַיְהַלְלָהּ

Kamu vaneiha vai'ashruha; ba'alah vaihalelah

רַבּוֹת בָּנוֹת, עָשׂוּ חָיִל; וְאַתְּ, עָלִית עַל-כֻּלָּנָה

Rabot banot asu chayil; ve'at alit al kulana

שֶׁקֶר הַחֵן, וְהֶבֶל הַיֹּפִי: אִשָּׁה יִרְאַת-ה´, הִיא תִתְהַלָּל

Sheker hachen vehevel hayofi; isha yirat Hashem hi tithalal

תְּנוּ-לָהּ, מִפְּרִי יָדֶיהָ; וִיהַלְלוּהָ בַשְּׁעָרִים מַעֲשֶׂיה

Tnu lah mipri yadeiha; vihaleluha bashe'arim ma'aseiha

Facts You Didn't Know About "Eshet Chayil"

The hymn "Eshet Chayil" was written by King Solomon and concludes the Book of Proverbs.

It is a song of praise for a woman whose beauty is accompanied by inner depth. "Grace is false and beauty is vain."

This means charm and beauty are empty as long as the woman does not possess fear of God and care for her home.

Our Sages explained that the hymn refers to Bathsheba, the mother of King Solomon.

Another interpretation suggests the subject of the hymn is an allegory for the Torah or for wisdom.

Some sing "Eshet Chayil" before Kiddush on Friday night to show appreciation for a woman's hard work for Shabbat.

Another custom is to recite it during a woman's funeral as a eulogy describing her virtuous character.

The hymn has 22 verses, matching the number of Hebrew letters, and is arranged as an alphabetical acrostic.

Eshet Chayil - Analysis and Meaning

This is an amazing song. The words speak for themselves.

The song opens with a fateful question: "A woman of valor, who can find? Her value is far beyond pearls."

It is very difficult to find such a woman. Not everyone is privileged to find her.

One must be a very special person to merit such a precious wife who is the perfection of virtues.

When a person merits marrying such a woman, he must protect her like a treasure and respect her with all his might.

"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and gain will not be lacking" explains that a husband must provide for his wife.

He must care for her honor even more than his own: "He loves her as himself and honors her more than himself."

When they reach this level, they will not lack wealth. Some successful careers lack a blessing in their livelihood.

Their money dissolves for various reasons orchestrated by the Creator, and they do not truly enjoy it.

However, among people of faith, a couple that respects each other and lives a life of purity and mutual honor gains a blessing.

Even if they have little, they merit a blessing in their livelihood and are counted among those who are happy with their lot.

We must always remind ourselves that despite the money so many people chase, happiness cannot be bought, and many times it serves as a goal for people rather than a means. It is difficult for us sometimes to understand that while life might be easier with money, it does not truly make reality better.

A new car? A luxury apartment? A garment from Kikar Hamedina? The excitement ends exactly after a few moments, and this is what happens with all things related to the material, as it is said, "He who loves money will not be satisfied with money."

And from here stems the blessing of the believing couple who trust and respect each other, that they shall not lack spoil, meaning they will enjoy what they have, merit being happy with their lot, have a sense of financial security, and have a blessing in their livelihood.

It does not matter how much a person earns, the question is how much they enjoy it, how much they produce from it, how much they use it for good goals, and how much they give to others as is the will of the Almighty.

The question is not the quantity of the wealth, but rather how the person feels from within regarding it, whether they chase after it more and more, or perhaps they are happy with what they have and even hold onto the trait of trust. "She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands", raw materials are brought to the Eshet Chayil, and she produces great results from them.

Wool is brought to her, and she produces warm clothing from it. Flour is brought to her, and she prepares fresh bread from it in honor of the Shabbat. Her hands are full of the making of something from nothing.

An Eshet Chayil is an ambitious woman, a woman who exerts effort for her goal. "She brings her food from afar," "She does not eat the bread of idleness." An Eshet Chayil is a role model in the pleasantness of her ways, "She watches over the ways of her household."

An Eshet Chayil cares for others. She is compassionate; she has a breadth of heart. "She spreads out her palm to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." She is a wise woman—"Her mouth opens with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."

She is a woman in whose home there is warmth and love. "She does not fear snow for her household for all her household is clothed in scarlet"—of course, she is a woman full of substance.

A powerful and unique sentence is said in the song—"Grace is false and beauty is vain, a woman who fears Hashem, she shall be praised." In our culture, we sanctify external appearance and "forget" that it wears away in old age.

This is the nature of the world. And if someone feels that this is the main thing about her, she will be very disappointed to discover that at a certain age, it will not remain the same. Externality is a deceptive thing, and ultimately also very negligible.

What is important is the substance. The life of the relationship depends on the connection of the souls of the couple, not on the externality that eventually wears out. A connection that depends on externality, on appearance, on the body, will not last for long.

A woman possessing fear of Hashem, possessing good traits, possessing substance, she shall be praised... and along with this, there is the sentence "Strength and splendor are her clothing," the Eshet Chayil is a well-groomed woman, beautiful for her husband.

And of course, THE sentence that the husband should intend when he sings to his wife is "Many daughters have done valiantly, but you have surpassed them all." There will always be daughters who are seemingly more beautiful, wiser, better, but for the husband, his wife will forever be above them all.

He loves her and only her, and there is no room at all for comparison with other women. From his perspective, she is the perfection of virtues, and he keeps his eyes only for her. He and her children know how to appreciate her and her virtues—"Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her."

"Eshet Chayil"—the dream of every woman—is a hymn that sends shivers through me every Friday night anew...

Eshet Chail, Avraham Fried