Living with Major Depression: One Woman’s Journey from Silence to Strength

“I’m Yedida Derech, married and the mother of seven children. I live in the Hebron Hills, I teach English, and I have been coping with major depression for many years.”

From the very beginning of our conversation, it is clear that Yedida speaks about her depression with remarkable clarity. She does not attempt to hide it, yet she is equally careful not to let it define her identity.

“It isn’t the first thing about me,” she explains calmly. “Even though it is very significant and accompanies me throughout my life, it is still only one part of who I am.”

A Childhood Marked by Hidden Struggle

One of the questions Yedida is most often asked is when her depression first began.

“The truth is that I don’t really know,” she admits. “My childhood was not simple. As far back as I can remember, I experienced symptoms such as deep despair, feelings of guilt, a lack of energy and motivation, sleep problems, loss of appetite, and a great deal of emotional chaos. Occasionally there were also extreme thoughts. But I was only formally diagnosed with depression when I was thirty.”

The delay in diagnosis, she explains, was largely due to the fact that she appeared to function well on the outside.

“In many ways you could describe me as two different people,” she says. “One version of me seemed perfectly fine. She was sociable, energetic, an excellent student, active in youth leadership, and well liked by friends. But there was another side that very few people saw, a much more private Yedida who struggled deeply when she was alone.”

Social attitudes toward mental health also played a role.

“Forty years ago it simply wasn’t common to seek psychological treatment. It was not something people talked about openly. The people around me saw that I was succeeding academically and socially, so they assumed that everything was fine.”

When the Struggle Finally Had a Name

Even Yedida herself did not understand what she was experiencing.

“I felt many difficult emotions but I didn’t know how to interpret them,” she recalls. “Most of the time I blamed myself. The more I suffered, the harder I tried to be better. I had no idea that there was such a thing as clinical depression, or that it was an illness that often requires medical treatment.”

Looking back, she explains that this long delay between symptoms and diagnosis is common in the field of mental health.

“Unlike physical illnesses, mental health conditions cannot be identified through an X ray or CT scan. They require a much deeper evaluation. And every person experiences them differently, which makes diagnosis far more complicated.”

Marriage, Motherhood, and a Deepening Crisis

Yedida married at a relatively young age. It was only after marriage that the symptoms intensified.

“I experienced severe mood swings, difficulty coping with everyday responsibilities, and a profound sense of sadness and pain.”

At one point the couple consulted with a respected rabbinic authority who recommended that she seek psychological help. Yet even then it took two additional years before Yedida agreed to schedule an appointment with a psychologist.

Looking back, she sees that hesitation as the result of stigma.

“People often assume that someone who is struggling emotionally is exaggerating or inventing their difficulties. When you hear that message long enough, you begin to believe it yourself. For years I was convinced that I was simply lazy or overly sensitive. I never imagined that what I was experiencing was a recognized medical condition with available treatment.”

The Treatment That Changed Her Life

Yedida first met with a psychologist at the age of twenty five. At the time she was pregnant with her third child and raising two young children at home.

The psychologist believed that medication would ultimately be necessary, but he also understood her strong resistance to psychiatric drugs. For several years she relied only on therapy sessions.

The conversations helped somewhat, but true improvement came only later.

“What really changed my life was combining therapy with medication about five years later.”

The decision to begin medication was not easy. She kept her struggle hidden from most people around her, and financially the situation was difficult. Because of the illness she could not maintain a full time job, while the cost of therapy remained high.

“At the time I didn’t even know that there were government programs for mental health rehabilitation or disability benefits. I was simply trying to survive.”

Reaching the Breaking Point

At the age of thirty Yedida reached a critical point.

“I began suffering from severe insomnia, which is very common among people with depression. I also lost my appetite completely. Eventually I ended up in the emergency room at Hadassah Ein Kerem. That was the moment when I realized I had no choice. I had reached my limit.”

Doctors explained that she would only be discharged if she began regular medication.

The first weeks were difficult. Psychiatric medications often cause side effects at the beginning, and it can take time before their benefits are felt.

“It took about a month before the medication truly began to work,” she says.

But when it did, the transformation was profound.

“For years everything in my life looked dark. I could not enjoy anything, not even the simplest pleasures. After I began taking the medication, my world changed. I could finally smile when my children laughed and greet them warmly in the morning.”

At that time she was already the mother of five children.

“For the first time I felt that I was functioning as a mother should.”

Understanding Depression as a Real Illness

The experience also led her to a deeper understanding of depression.

“Many people do not realize that depression has a biochemical component. Certain substances in the brain are not transmitted properly. That means depression is not a matter of choice or attitude. It is a genuine medical condition.”

This new stability allowed her to rebuild her professional life.

“For years I worked only in small positions because I lacked the energy to sustain a full workload. I was a good teacher, but when I came home I would collapse emotionally.”

About a year and a half after beginning medication, she returned to teaching.

“For the next decade my life was stable and fulfilling. I worked, raised my family, and lived what felt like a normal life.”

A New Crisis and the Path to Recovery

Around the age of forty, however, another severe crisis emerged. Personal and family pressures combined with emotional exhaustion, and the depression returned with renewed intensity.

This time Yedida immediately sought psychiatric care, expecting that a simple medication adjustment would resolve the problem. Instead, the following years proved extremely challenging.

Over the next five years she was hospitalized four times in psychiatric departments in order to stabilize her treatment. The depression had intensified and was accompanied by severe anxiety.

Despite the difficulty, she now believes those hospitalizations were essential.

“I eventually realized that hospitalization was the best thing for both me and my children. It allowed me to recover in a supportive environment rather than struggling alone at home.”

From Secrecy to Openness

During her hospitalizations Yedida became familiar with different forms of psychiatric care, including full hospitalization and day treatment programs that combine therapy, creative activities, and support groups.

She also made a life changing decision.

“After my second hospitalization I decided that I would no longer hide my condition. I began speaking openly about it.”

The effect was immediate. “Keeping such a secret requires enormous emotional energy. Once I stopped hiding it, I had the strength to focus on understanding my illness and learning how to manage it.”

She began reading extensively about depression, studying medications, and educating herself about mental health.

“The more I understood my condition and accepted it, the less power it had over me.”

Turning Personal Struggle into Public Advocacy

Today, Yedida continues to take two antidepressant medications and remains under regular psychiatric supervision.

She describes herself as healthy, stable, and fulfilled. For the past years she has worked as an English teacher at the Zoharim Youth Village.

At the same time she has become an advocate for mental health awareness. Through the national program “Peers for Rights,” supported by the Ministry of Health, she travels across Israel delivering lectures about mental health and patients’ rights.

“I see this work as a mission,” she says. “I want to challenge the stigma and provide people with accurate information.”

Her lectures have reached diverse audiences, including hospital staff, university students, teachers, military officers, and families.

A Message of Faith and Strength

When asked where she finds the strength to face such challenges, Yedida answers without hesitation.

“First of all, I am a person of faith. The Book of Tehillim accompanied me throughout this entire journey, and I always felt that God was with me.”

She also credits the unwavering support of her husband, the love of her children, and the rehabilitation services provided by Israel’s Ministry of Health, which helped her gradually reintegrate into community life.

Recognizing the Warning Signs

Yedida hopes that sharing her story will help others recognize the signs of mental health struggles.

Warning signs may include extreme weight loss, severe sleep disturbances, confusion in speech, uncontrollable anger or crying, severe fatigue, withdrawal from work or social life, neglect of personal care, difficulty concentrating, or trouble distinguishing between reality and imagination.

“You don’t need to see every symptom,” she explains. “Even a few clear changes, especially if they represent a major shift from the person you once knew, should raise concern.”

How to Support Someone Who Is Struggling

The most important response is compassion.

Simple statements such as “I’m here if you want to talk,” “You always have someone who will listen,” or “Let’s think together about what might help” can be incredibly meaningful.

On the other hand, dismissive remarks such as “It’s all in your head,” “Just pull yourself together,” or “It will pass” can deepen the person’s pain.

If the situation becomes severe, particularly if someone expresses hopelessness about life or shows signs of aggression, professional help must be sought immediately.

“They may be angry at first,” Yedida says gently. “But eventually they will understand that you acted because you cared about them.”

Her story is ultimately a powerful reminder that depression is a real illness, that treatment can bring hope, and that openness can transform personal suffering into a source of strength for others.