Finding Renewal in Everyday Life: The Secret of Living in the Present

I once went out with my eight-year-old daughter for a small mother-and-daughter treat. As we walked along, we passed a place filled with beautiful flowers in every color.

“Do you see those flowers?” I asked her. “Do you know why they’re here?”

“Why?” she asked immediately, her curiosity awakened.

“So we can enjoy them,” I said, picking one for each of us.

“What do you mean?” she asked, puzzled.

“God placed them here so we could enjoy them. They’re beautiful, aren’t they? They don’t really serve any practical purpose beyond bringing joy. I think God wanted the world to feel pleasant and beautiful for us.”

With the simple naturalness of an eight-year-old, she picked a flower for herself and continued skipping down the path.

But I remained behind with my thoughts. I meet too many women who are afraid to enjoy the moment — women who are so busy surviving that they forget how to live.

When Life Turns Into Survival

This week, a woman came to see me at the clinic and told me she finds it difficult to feel anything. She functions almost like a robot, without emotions, neither negative nor positive. Often this is the result of unprocessed trauma.

“Take a moment and look around this room,” I asked her quietly, hoping she could follow my suggestion. “It’s Wednesday, a quarter to twelve. Do you see where you are? Can you feel your body touching the chair? The blood flowing through your legs? This moment right now — this is life itself.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, curious.

“Right now, in this very minute, life is happening,” I told her. “You and I — two souls whom God brought together this morning, are sitting here. Something meaningful is unfolding here on a very deep level.”

“What exactly is happening?” she asked.

“We may not fully understand it yet,” I said. “But we don’t need to force an explanation. Something is already taking place right here and now. A certain kind of inner healing is happening in this room, at this moment.”

I saw her expression change.

“Wow,” she said softly. “You know, we’re always remembering what happened before and how things used to be. But this is the first time I’ve managed to feel what is happening right now. Something is happening in this moment.”

For a brief instant, we managed to isolate a single moment from the endless flow of time, and give it space.

Life has a natural, healing movement. Often, our role is simply not to interfere with it.

The Natural Process of Breaking and Growing

Even our moments of breakdown are part of that natural flow.

This week another woman told me: “I started growing plants. I love watching the process they go through — from the moment a seed is planted until something begins to grow. Sometimes I stand in front of the soil and say to the seed: ‘Hello, seed. I know what you’re going through. I know what it feels like to break apart and then be reborn. I’ve experienced that in my own life too.’”

“Because man is like a tree of the field,” I replied, appreciating the beauty of her description.

Even sleep itself is part of the body’s natural healing system. A psychiatrist once explained that during sleep we undergo a deep emotional process. Memories are organized, experiences are processed, and many internal systems — especially those connected to relationships and emotions, undergo quiet repair.

Perhaps this is why people who cannot sleep properly often suffer greatly on an emotional level.

Why Is It So Hard to Be Content?

The truth is that learning to love what we have is not easy.

Accepting the realities of our lives, without constantly struggling to control or change them, is a lifelong practice. Letting go can help, but first we must understand that much of our sense of control is an illusion.

Trying to control everything is a bit like pushing a bus that is already moving. But letting go is not the same as despair. The voice of despair sounds very different.

It says:
“Listen, it hasn’t worked for you until now — so it never will.
You haven’t changed yet — so you never will.
You’ve failed so many times — you’ll never succeed.”

That is not acceptance; it is hopelessness.

The Many Roles Women Carry

In reality, we accomplish countless things every day, many of them almost automatically, as part of the natural flow of life.

One woman recently said to me, “Do you want me to list everything I do as a mother when needed?”

And she began listing them one after another: plumber, technician, electrician, exterminator, seamstress, actress, physical therapist, mediator, art teacher, camp counselor, doctor, nurse, babysitter, and even fortune teller.

And she was absolutely right.

At one point, a woman published a list of eighty different professions that mothers perform from time to time and wrote: just calculate the salary.

Truly, every Jewish mother deserves double and triple wages — and perhaps that reward is waiting in the World to Come.

Remembering Our Inner Light

Why do we sometimes fall into despair?

Imagine placing a powerful light on a balcony. How many insects will gather around it?

Every Jewish soul carries tremendous light. Precisely because of that, forces that weaken and discourage us often gather around us, trying to dim that light.

Our task is not to forget who we are — to remember that we are a source of light and to continue shining despite everything.

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov taught: “It is forbidden to grow old.”

King Solomon referred to the evil inclination as “an old and foolish king.” It is foolish because it offers harmful advice. It is a king because it is so easy to obey. And it is “old” because it convinces us that we have already seen everything, and that change is no longer possible.

The Secret of Renewal: Do Something New

So what can we do? Something surprisingly simple.

Do something new — something you have never done before.

Pray with a melody you created today. Eat a food you’ve never tried. Buy something new at the supermarket — even if it’s just a different scent of fabric softener. Wear clothes that give you a slightly different look. Visit a place you have never been. Speak with someone you wouldn’t normally speak to. Cook something new. Learn a few words in another language. Dance. Sing. Sit quietly by the sea and listen to the waves.

In other words, step outside your routine.

To break out of stagnation, we must allow creativity to awaken within us. Inside each of us lives a curious, playful child who may have grown quiet over the years — a child who once knew how to experience life with wonder.

This week, give that child a little attention. Let her breathe.

Begin a fresh and youthful path that, with God’s help, may lead you to places you never imagined.

Speaking to the One Who Created Us

Do not forget to speak with the One who created you about this new journey in your life.

“But God already knows everything,” a young woman once said to me. “So what’s the point of telling Him?”

Thousands of years ago we left Egypt, and to this day we continue telling that story — again and again, in great detail. What happened there, how difficult it was. In fact, telling the story is itself a commandment.

Why tell it? God already knows what happened.

Growing as a person is a bit like leaving Egypt. Each of us has our own personal “Exodus” — our own journey through childhood, family life, society, self-image, and relationships. Each person carries their own story.

Part of healing the soul is sitting quietly and telling that story to God, by speaking honestly about what we feel, how our past shaped us, and how difficult the journey has sometimes been.

And each time we tell that story, we step out of Egypt once more.

Each time, we begin again.

May your renewal be blessed.

Ruti Koenig is a writer, emotional therapist, and facilitator of workshops for breaking personal barriers.