“I Know It’s Not Logical, But I’m Still Afraid”: Understanding Anxiety

“I’m exhausted. I have no strength left for these anxiety attacks,” Hila said quietly. “What frustrates me the most is that everyone tries to calm me down with logic.”

“What do they tell you?” I asked.

“That there’s no logic in my fears. They explain why nothing bad is going to happen. But I already know that. I know it’s not logical… and still, I’m afraid. I can’t control it.”

Her voice weakened as she continued.

“I’m afraid something bad will happen to the people I love. I’m afraid of things I can’t even say out loud… as if just saying them will make them happen.”

What Is Fear, Really?

“It’s very hard to live with that constant sense of danger,” I told her. “But first, we need to understand what fear actually is.”

Fear is the feeling that something is threatening our safe reality. Even if everything is fine right now, something inside us senses danger. Sometimes that danger is real. Often, it is not.

Still, the feeling is real.

“This fear is terrible,” Hila said. “I just want it to disappear.”

The Deeper Root of Fear

“Let’s look at this from a different angle,” I said. “The root of your fear actually comes from a good place.”

In Jewish thought, there is a concept called yirah. It is often translated as fear, but it is not fear in the usual sense.

Yirah is the feeling of standing before something greater than yourself. It is the soul sensing the presence of Hashem in life.

In its healthy form, yirah gives a person strength, direction, and inner stability. As it says, “The fear of Hashem is life.”

But Hila shook her head.

“For me, it doesn’t feel like that. It makes me feel small. It paralyzes me.”

When Fear Becomes Distorted

“That’s exactly the point,” I explained.

That same inner feeling, when it is not understood or processed properly, can turn into something else. Instead of becoming strength, it becomes anxiety.

A person senses that there is something greater than them, but they do not understand what it is. Without clarity, that feeling becomes threatening.

Instead of calm, it creates panic.

Instead of connection, it creates distance.

“You feel something real,” I told her. “But because it is not clear to you, it turns into fear.”

The Role of Understanding

“So something is wrong with me?” she asked.

“Not at all,” I answered. “Millions of people live with anxiety. This is one of the most common struggles in the world.”

The difference lies in understanding.

When a person understands what they are feeling, they can begin to direct it properly. When something remains hidden and unclear, it creates confusion and fear.

Understanding allows the mind to calm the heart.

Without understanding, the heart fills in the gaps with fear.

Why Childhood Matters

A key part of this process is connected to early relationships, especially with parents.

When a child grows up, their parents are the strongest presence in their world. A stable and calm parent gives the child a sense of safety.

That early sense of security later becomes the foundation for a healthy connection to something greater.

When that inner stability exists, a person experiences yirah as something grounding and strengthening.

Without that stability, the same feeling can turn into anxiety and fear.

Fear or Yirah?

“It sounds like you’re saying a person should be afraid,” Hila said.

“No,” I answered. “There’s a big difference between fear and yirah.”

Fear is the feeling that something is threatening me.

Yirah is the feeling that something greater is present with me.

Fear weakens a person.
Yirah strengthens them.

When that inner feeling is not understood, it falls into fear. In Jewish thought, this is called a fallen form of yirah.

A Path Toward Calm

“What we’re going to do,” I told Hila, “is learn how to reconnect to that inner feeling in a healthy way.”

Instead of letting it turn into fear, we will begin to understand it, give it language, and slowly transform it into something that gives strength rather than takes it away.

“You don’t need to fight your feelings,” I reassured her.
“You need to understand them.”

A Message for Anyone Struggling

Anxiety can feel overwhelming, confusing, and exhausting.

But beneath it, there is often something deeper. A sensitivity. A search for meaning. A connection that has not yet found its place.

When we begin to understand what is happening inside us, fear can slowly lose its power.

And in its place, something much stronger can grow.

Calm.
Clarity.
And a deeper sense of trust.