If Spiritual Growth Is Up to Us, Why Pray?

In the morning prayers, there are many prayers focused on our spiritual growth. We say, “Please, Hashem our God, make the words of Your Torah sweet in our mouths,” asking for a deep connection and appreciation for Torah. We continue by praying for success in Torah learning for ourselves and our children. In the morning blessings, we ask: “May it be Your will… that You accustom us to Your Torah, attach us to Your commandments, and do not bring us to sin, transgression, or wrongdoing, nor to temptation or disgrace, and do not let the evil inclination rule over us.”

Similarly, in the blessing of Ahavah Rabbah, we ask: “Place in our hearts the ability to understand, to gain insight, to listen, to learn, to teach, to observe, to perform, and to fulfill all the words of Your Torah with love. Enlighten our eyes with Your Torah, attach our hearts to Your commandments, and unite our hearts to love and fear Your Name.”

If It’s Up to Us, Why Pray?

What is the point of all these requests if our Sages already taught: “Everything is in the hands of Heaven except the fear of Heaven” (Berachot 33b)?

From this teaching, it seems that all material matters are in God’s control, while spiritual matters are left to human free will. A person can choose whether to follow Torah and mitzvot or to follow their impulses. If that’s the case, what is the purpose of praying for spiritual success? Hasn’t God already placed that decision entirely in our hands?

The Role of Divine Assistance

Rabbi Gershon Edelstein explained that even though a person has free will, there is still a concept of siyata d’shmaya — Divine assistance.

He taught that from Heaven, a person can receive an awakening, known as itaruta d’le’ela, a spiritual stirring that strengthens and inspires them.

He shared an example from Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler: imagine a person sitting in a waiting room where there are books available, including works of Torah or ethical teachings. He randomly opens a book, and it happens to open to a page containing a message that deeply moves him. Had he opened a different page, he might not have been inspired at all. The fact that he opened to that specific page is not random, but a Heavenly awakening, and a moment of guidance.

This kind of assistance depends on merit, and through merit, a person receives help from Heaven.

Prayer Unlocks Spiritual Help

Our Sages said: “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it” (Berachot 50a), referring to words of Torah. God promises: ask as much as you can, and I will give.

Rabbi Yisrael Salanter also taught that it is proven and well known that prayer for spiritual matters is effective and brings Divine assistance.

Similarly, it is written in Sefer Chassidim that if a person asks for something that honors God — such as success in Torah learning, and pours out their heart in prayer, God will hear them, even if they lack good deeds.

Beyond the Fixed Prayers

Is it enough to rely on the requests for spirituality that appear in the standard prayer text?

Rabbi Edelstein explains that while these requests are included in the fixed prayers, they are often said without full intention. Therefore, it is important to also pray in one’s own words, asking for spiritual growth with genuine feeling and focus.

He cites the words of the Chafetz Chaim, who wrote that a person should not rely solely on the three daily prayers. One should also, many times a day, pour out personal prayers and requests privately. Since the regular prayers are familiar and routine, they may lack deep focus. When however a person reflects on their life and sincerely speaks to God from the heart, the prayer becomes more meaningful — spoken with humility and broken-hearted sincerity, and such a prayer will certainly not go unanswered.

Effort and Prayer Together

The Talmud asks: what must a person do to merit wisdom in Torah? The answer given is to increase study. The Gemara challenges this and says that many have done so and still did not succeed. The answer is that they must pray for mercy from the One to whom wisdom belongs. Rashi explains that success depends on Divine mercy.

Rabbi Edelstein concludes: prayer is essential. Without prayer, success is not possible, because a person has not asked. And if one does not ask, why should they receive?

At the same time, effort is also required. A person must learn with teachers and with friends. Through learning with scholars, one gains knowledge, and through studying with a partner, one reaches deeper understanding.

It is clear that everything requires Divine assistance, and Divine assistance requires merit. Through merit, one attains spiritual growth; without it, it is not possible.

May it be God’s will that we all merit Heavenly assistance, so that we can succeed in our spiritual growth.