17 Years of Waiting: The Journey to My Match

It started 17 years ago, but I remember it as if it were yesterday.

A month after I returned to my faith, I was on a bus to a seminary in Jerusalem. The entire ride, I repeated one simple prayer:

“Creator of the Universe, let me get married within six months.”

At that moment, I truly believed it would happen.

I felt that since I had taken such a big step toward Hashem, He would surely answer me quickly. I thought I was ready. I thought I understood what I needed.

But Hashem had a different plan.

What We Think We Need

Looking back, I realize how much I did not yet understand.

I was 24, tired of feeling alone, and desperate to feel safe and settled. I wanted a home. I wanted stability. I wanted it now.

But how can a person build a home without the inner foundations it requires? Without working on character, without learning to give, to listen, to let go of ego, and to truly see another person?

I thought I needed to be saved.

Hashem knew I needed to grow.

Hearing, But Not Listening

For many years, I prayed. I asked. I hoped.

But I was not truly listening.

I wanted Hashem to hear me, but I did not want to hear what He was asking of me. I did not want to do the deeper work. I did not want to face my weaknesses or change my patterns.

I wanted results without the process.

And sometimes, I even made conditions.

“If You give me this, then I will become that.”

Today I understand that this is not how it works.

The Work Behind the Wait

Time passed. Years of dating, of searching, of disappointment.

It is hard to describe what 17 years of this journey feels like. But today I can say with clarity: none of it was wasted.

Every experience, every meeting, every disappointment taught me something about myself.

Nothing was random.

Each person I met was part of my growth. Each moment was shaping me into someone stronger, more aware, and more ready.

A Different Way to Look at Dating

Today, I see it differently.

Every date is not just another attempt. It is a once in a lifetime experience. Just like a child starting first grade, it carries excitement, growth, and opportunity.

The people we meet are not obstacles. They are part of the process.

They are there to teach us, to reflect something back to us, to help us become who we are meant to be.

The Right Question

Many people ask, “When will I get married?”

But maybe the better question is, “How am I preparing for it?”

How can I grow into the person who can build a strong, healthy home?

How can I strengthen my faith, improve my character, and become someone who can truly give and receive?

Because the question is not only when it will happen.

It is how it will happen.

Trusting the Timing

Hashem does not forget anyone.

Everyone has their time.

A loving parent does not give a child something that will harm them, even if the child is asking for it again and again. Sometimes the answer is not “no.” It is “not yet.”

And that waiting has a purpose.

The Breaking Point and the Turning Point

I will be honest.

There were moments when I almost gave up.

A month before I met my match, I felt completely broken. I had reached a point where I no longer believed it would happen for me.

But even that moment was part of the journey.

Because right after that, everything changed.

Conclusion

Today, I stand on the other side, grateful not only for the result, but for the entire path.

The waiting, the struggle, the questions, the growth.

All of it was building something real.

So if you are still waiting, do not lose hope.

Your time is not delayed. It is being prepared.

And when it comes, you will understand why it had to be this way.