Why Kids Who Get Everything Still Feel Ungrateful

Our 15 year old gets almost everything he asks for from us, yet he never seems to say thank you or show appreciation. He has friends whose parents spend very little on them, and they seem to appreciate their parents much more. Why does this happen, and what can we do about it?

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We often tend to give our children whatever they want, hoping they will be quiet and learn to appreciate us. But children do not necessarily value parents who give more. Sometimes it is the opposite. A parent who gives too much can be seen as weak, someone who does not know how to set limits or say no.

When a child receives a lot, they do not see the effort behind it. They do not appreciate the money or understand its value. They assume there is always more, and they may even think that everything we have exists for their benefit.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Do not give based on the child’s demands, but based on your own judgment. If your child truly needs something, provide it. But if they do not need it, do not buy it, even if they become upset.

In fact, it is better to have a child who is temporarily disappointed because they did not get something, than a child who is disappointed even after receiving everything. Ingratitude is something none of us appreciates.

Teaching Gratitude by Example

If you want a child who knows how to express gratitude, you need to teach it. Model it yourselves. Be people who appreciate and give thanks. Say to each other, and to your children, “Thank you for bringing me a cup of coffee,” or “Thank you for coming home early and not making me worry.”

Children who grow up hearing the language of gratitude learn to speak it and feel it themselves.