How to Build Confidence in Shy Children

Some children need more encouragement and reinforcement than others. They tend to be shy and may project a lack of self confidence. Parents, siblings, teachers, and friends may want to help, but do not always know how.

The familiar approach of talking and explaining is not always effective, because emotional experiences are stronger than intellectual understanding. Children who lack confidence primarily need help creating positive experiences and opportunities that allow them to take responsibility and develop a sense of ability and self confidence. When we give children responsibilities that are uniquely theirs, within their capabilities, their sense of confidence begins to grow.

Practical Ways to Build Confidence Through Responsibility

Give children responsibilities at home, such as tidying their room or folding laundry. I once read about a young child in a family who always felt less confident than his siblings. His parents and older siblings decided to appoint him the “sock manager.” He was responsible for sorting the clean socks, matching pairs, and folding them. This gave him a significant boost in confidence and a sense of capability and belonging.

Encourage children to share a short Torah thought at the Shabbat table or help a younger sibling with homework. If they can read, they can be encouraged to teach younger siblings the alphabet.

Assign them as helpers to parents or older siblings in various areas. Find suitable activities or enrichment programs that can help develop their unique talents.

Ultimately, building a child’s self confidence depends greatly on the parents’ ability to strengthen and enrich their world. Giving responsibility, offering encouragement, and providing the right kind of praise can help children build confidence and prepare for adult life.