Educate According to His Nature: The Secret to Raising Strong Children

In his commentary on the Book of Mishlei (22:10), the Vilna Gaon cites a passage from the Talmud (Talmud): “One who is born under the influence of Mars — whose nature inclines toward bloodshed — will become a person who sheds blood: either a healer who draws blood for medical purposes, or a circumciser, or a ritual slaughterer, or, God forbid, a bandit.”

Were the Sages merely predicting this person’s future?

The Gaon explains that this teaching reveals a profound principle and a powerful guide for education:

1. You Don’t Change Nature — You Direct It

We are neither required nor able to change the core nature with which a person is born. Instead, our role is to channel that nature toward positive and constructive expression.

2. Every Trait Contains Potential for Good

Within every personality trait lies the potential for good — even in someone whose natural inclination is toward aggression or intensity.

When the Sages say, “one born under Mars will shed blood,” they are not suggesting that we can transform such a person into someone completely different by nature. Rather, they teach that this trait can, and must, be directed into positive paths: a surgeon saving lives, a caregiver helping the sick, a ritual slaughterer providing food, or a mohel performing a mitzvah.

At the same time, there is a clear warning that if this nature is not guided early and properly, it may express itself destructively, leading, God forbid, to violence or harm.

The True Goal of Education

The purpose of education is not to change a child’s personality, even when that personality appears difficult or negative. Attempts to do so will likely fail and may damage the child’s inner world.

Instead, education means guiding every type of personality toward positive expression.

For this reason, Jewish sages spoke not of “good” or “bad” personalities, but of good traits and bad traits. Just as clothing comes in different sizes, so too personality traits vary. No trait is inherently bad; each can be used constructively when expressed in the right measure and context.

• Personality is what we are born with.

• Character (traits) is how we use it.

Educating According to the Child’s Path

When we guide a child to use their natural traits in a healthy and meaningful way, that is aligned with values and purpose, they gradually develop into a person of strong and positive character.

They become more fulfilled, more at peace with themselves, and those around them also benefit.

This is the meaning of the verse: “Educate the child according to his way” (Mishlei 22:6) — according to his unique nature.

Only in this way can a child grow into someone capable of facing life’s challenges with strength, confidence, and authenticity.