Yitzchak's Love for Esav: The Torah Secret to Seeing the Good in Every Child

In the Torah portion of Toldot, the verse states: “Yitzchak loved Esav, because game was in his mouth; but Rivka loved Yaakov” (Bereishit 25:28). At first glance, this verse raises a profound question: how could Yitzchak love Esav despite his well-known flaws and destructive behavior?

Rashi offers two classic explanations for the phrase “because game was in his mouth.” According to one interpretation, Esav would provide Yitzchak with food from his hunting, preparing delicacies for him. According to the Midrash, however, Esav would “trap” Yitzchak with his words, presenting himself as righteous by asking seemingly pious questions, such as how to tithe salt and straw.

Both explanations can seem difficult to understand. Is it possible that Yitzchak, one of the great patriarchs, was truly swayed by food and fine dishes? Was he truly so innocent that shallow displays of religiosity could win over his heart?

The deeper answer is that Yitzchak was not naïve at all. He understood very well that Yaakov was righteous and that Esav’s path was deeply troubled. Yet Yitzchak made a conscious choice to focus on the good that still existed within his son. Despite all of Esav’s faults, he excelled in one extraordinary area: the mitzvah of honoring his father. He served Yitzchak devotedly, prepared food for him, and was careful not to cause him pain.

The Torah itself hints at this distinction through its wording. Regarding Yitzchak, it says “and he loved” — an active verb, suggesting an intentional act. Regarding Rivka, it says “Rivka loves Yaakov” — a description of a natural, ongoing reality. Rivka’s love for Yaakov flowed instinctively. Yitzchak’s love, however, was something he actively built and strengthened.

A Timeless Lesson in Parenting and Education

This teaches a remarkable lesson. Yitzchak’s love for Esav was not the result of blindness, denial, or lack of awareness. On the contrary, it emerged out of precise awareness of his son’s condition. Precisely because he saw Esav clearly, he deliberately searched for the spark of goodness within him and chose to elevate it.

Here lies one of the Torah’s most powerful lessons in parenting and education. Instead of allowing a child’s weaknesses to define how we see them, we are called to search for their strengths, even if those strengths seem small. When we focus on the good, we strengthen the good. What is noticed grows. What is affirmed becomes stronger.

Our forefather Yitzchak thus lays out a timeless path for parents and educators: do not let the negative become the entire picture. Look for the child’s point of strength, emphasize it, honor it, and build from it. Through seeing the good, we help the good expand, and through that process love itself deepens and becomes stronger.

This is not merely a parenting technique. It is a Torah principle of human growth: the good we choose to see in another person has the power to awaken and enlarge that goodness within them.