The Secret to Raising Kids Who Truly Love Shabbat

“Ahhh, what a joy. Another Shabbat has arrived. I’ve been waiting for it.”

That sentence alone, when spoken from the heart, is worth far more than countless explanations, scoldings, or lectures to our children.

The starting point is simple. We all want our children to love Shabbat. We hope they will feel excited when it is on the way, that they will develop a natural connection to it, and that week after week, they will find themselves looking forward to its arrival.

Two Families, One Test

A well-known story is told in the name of Rabbi Moshe Feinstein zt"l about two families who immigrated to America after the Holocaust, drawn by what was called the “land of unlimited opportunity.”

Very quickly, reality set in. Money was not lying in the streets, and life was not as easy as they had imagined. Both families, struggling to make ends meet, took jobs in a textile factory.

At that time, many employers in the United States were unfamiliar with the concept of Shabbat. When Friday came, the Jewish workers informed their manager that they could not work on Saturday. The response was immediate. They were fired on the spot.

This scene repeated itself week after week. Each time they found a new job, the same situation would arise. They risked their livelihoods again and again in honor of Shabbat.

Two Very Different Outcomes

Years later, an astonishing difference emerged.

In one family, the children grew up deeply connected to Torah and mitzvot. They loved Shabbat and cherished it, the very day for which their father had sacrificed so much.

In the other family, the children drifted far away. Their connection to Judaism weakened to the point where it was barely recognizable.

Rabbi Feinstein wondered: how could this be? Both fathers had made the same sacrifice. Why were the results so different?

The Atmosphere at Home

The answer became clear when he later met the children.

In the first home, the father would return on Friday after being fired, but instead of despair, he was filled with joy. Holding the dismissal letter, he would tell his children, “This is the happiest letter I’ve ever received. What a privilege it is to sacrifice for Shabbat.”

Then he would begin to sing Shabbat songs, filling the home with warmth and excitement.

In the second home, the father returned broken and exhausted. He was worried, understandably, about how he would support his family. The atmosphere in the house was heavy, filled with stress and uncertainty.

The children absorbed the message without words. In one home, Shabbat was a source of joy and pride. In the other, it felt like a burden, something that brought hardship and pain.

What Children Really Remember

This story shows how deeply the atmosphere in a home shapes a child’s inner world.

When a child sees their parents genuinely happy for Shabbat, when they feel that Shabbat is something special, something warm and meaningful, that feeling becomes part of who they are.

When the Shabbat table is a place of connection, where children receive attention, warmth, and presence without distractions, those moments stay with them for life.

More Than Just Doing Mitzvot

This is true not only for Shabbat, but for every mitzvah.

It is not enough to simply do mitzvot. The goal is to help our children feel the beauty and meaning behind them.

Not through pressure or obligation, but through love, joy, and genuine connection.

When children experience mitzvot this way, they do not feel forced. They feel drawn.

And that shift can shape their entire lives.