Facing Fear: The Mystery of the Abandoned Bench

“The probability of a bomb on a plane is one in two billion,” a statistician explained to his friend at a scientific conference. “And how did you get here?” the friend asked. “By flight.” The friend looked at him in disbelief, knowing how anxious he was about flying. “You took that risk?” The statistician replied calmly, “The probability of there being two bombs on the same flight is practically zero.” His friend wasn’t convinced. “Who said there would be two? Maybe there’s just one?” The statistician smiled: “I brought one with me.”

It’s a strange joke, but also a familiar pattern. Sometimes we carry our fears with us, even when they don’t make sense.

A Sign for Whom?

Redemption is near. Egypt is broken, and the moment of freedom is approaching. And then comes a surprising command: take a lamb, slaughter it, and place its blood on the doorposts. The Torah says, “And the blood shall be a sign for you… and I will see the blood and pass over you.”

But does Hashem need a sign to know where Bnei Yisrael are? Clearly not. So the question is obvious: who is the sign really for?

Guarding What No One Understands

A colonel once noticed two soldiers standing fully armed beside an empty bench at the edge of a base, scanning the area as if something critical depended on it. “What are you guarding?” he asked. “We don’t know, sir,” they replied. “We were told to stand here.”

The colonel began to investigate. The order had been passed down for years, but no one could explain why. Eventually, he tracked down the retired officer who had first given the command and asked him directly. The man stared at him in shock. “What do you mean?” he said. “Hasn’t the paint dried yet?”

Sometimes we hold onto behaviors long after their purpose is gone. We keep guarding something that no longer needs protection.

Breaking Free from Fear

In Bina L’itim, it is explained that after years of slavery, Bnei Yisrael were not only physically bound, but emotionally and spiritually as well. Even as freedom approached, they still felt enslaved. They needed to experience what it meant to act like free people.

For that, Hashem commanded a process. First, they were told to take the Egyptian god, the lamb, and tie it to their bedposts. For several days, the Egyptians would hear it and burn with anger, unable to respond. Then came the next step: to slaughter it openly. And not only to slaughter it, but to roast it, allowing the smell to spread throughout Egypt so that the act could not be ignored. Finally, they were commanded to place the blood on their doorposts, completing the act of rejecting everything they had once feared.

The Sign Was for Them

“And the blood shall be a sign for you.” Not for Hashem, but for them. They needed to see themselves act differently. They needed to feel what it was like to live without fear, to stand firm, and to behave as free people. The sign was not external. It was internal. It was about breaking the mindset of slavery and replacing it with something new.

Touching Fear, Step by Step

One of the most effective ways to deal with fear is not to avoid it, but to approach it. To touch it, to experience it, and to realize that what feels overwhelming may not be as frightening as it seems. But the Torah teaches that this cannot be done all at once. Fear is not removed with a single dramatic moment. It is addressed gradually.

First something small. Then something more challenging. And only afterward, the full step. This is how real change happens, not through force, but through a process that builds strength over time.

The Fear We Carry

Fear is not always logical, but it feels real. And often, we don’t just carry our own fears. We take on the fears of others as well, adding weight that was never ours to begin with. In a sense, we walk through life carrying our own “bomb in the bag.”

The lesson is simple. There is no need to carry what isn’t yours. And even what is yours can be faced, step by step, until it no longer holds the same power.