The Power of Speech in Judaism: Raising Children with Respect and Values

This Shabbat, we read the portions of Tazria and Metzora, which deal primarily with the laws of ritual purity and impurity. Our sages examined closely the root cause of the afflictions described in these sections, including signs that could appear on a person, their clothing, or even their home. With precise and meaningful language, they taught that the primary cause is harmful speech. As they famously hinted, the word Metzora (leper) can be read as Motzi Ra — one who brings forth evil through speech.

It is well known that speech is the defining feature that distinguishes human beings from animals. It is one of the most powerful tools we possess and plays a central role in shaping human relationships and society. In the realm of education, few areas are as critical as how we teach children to speak — how they relate to others through words, and how they internalize values of respect and sensitivity.

Unfortunately, reality shows a different picture. Many of us speak freely, without restraint or boundaries. Words are often used carelessly, causing harm, destroying trust, and breeding negativity, including jealousy, competition, resentment, and division. The consequences are severe.

The Power of Speech in Education

The great sage Chofetz Chaim devoted much of his life to this issue, producing one of the most important works for repairing society: Shemirat HaLashon. Anyone who studies his teachings quickly realizes the gravity of harmful speech and gossip. As it says in the Book of Mishlei, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

Any thoughtful observer will recognize that many failures in education stem from speech — both from the child’s environment and from the adults around them. Parents and educators who wish to raise emotionally healthy and morally grounded children must first refine their own speech.

One of the main reasons people speak negatively about others is a lack of awareness of the laws governing speech. Therefore, it is essential for every parent and educator to study and apply, as much as possible, the principles taught by the Chofetz Chaim. His teachings are not theoretical, but practical tools for building a better home and society.

In my view, this book deserves to be called “a guide to saving a generation.”

A Call for Change

Several years ago, I wrote to the Minister of Education, urging the creation of a structured educational program — beginning in early childhood, focused on proper speech, including the laws of gossip and slander. The idea was simple: by investing in this area, we could cultivate a respectful and healthy society. Although the proposal was received positively, it was never implemented.

But we do not need to wait for official programs, we can begin ourselves.

We must take responsibility to educate both ourselves and our children about the seriousness of harmful speech and its consequences. We need to reshape the culture of communication — at home, in classrooms, and in everyday interactions.

Consider how we speak about a child. Even in a teachers’ room, where there may be a need to discuss a student’s situation, who gave permission to use harmful labels such as “This child is rude” or “He is a liar”? These words offer no constructive value. On the contrary, they can damage a child deeply.

Everyday Examples We Overlook

Take a common classroom scenario: Eli receives a low grade on a test and feels embarrassed. His classmate Yossi notices the score and shares it with others. This act — so easily dismissed, is a serious form of harmful speech. It can lead to ridicule, labeling, and emotional harm. Do children understand the severity of this? Usually not, if they were never taught.

Another example appears in educational systems themselves. Teachers are often asked to provide background information about students. Without realizing it, they may include negative descriptions, even if they are true. A common misconception is that harmful speech only applies to lies. In reality, speaking negatively about someone — even truthfully, is often the essence of gossip and slander. False statements are even worse and fall under the category of defamation.

At the same time, the Chofetz Chaim teaches that in certain situations, there is a limited allowance to speak negatively for a constructive purpose, but only under strict conditions, which must be studied carefully.

Practical Steps for Parents

Parents who truly want to raise children with healthy emotional and moral foundations should take active steps:

Sit with your children and learn together. Adapt the learning to their age — through books, stories, games, or creative activities. There are even child-friendly versions of Shemirat HaLashon designed for young learners, with illustrations and simple explanations. These can be powerful tools, especially when used regularly.

Building a Better Future

Through conscious effort, we can transform our society into one built on respect, dignity, and care for others. Education in proper speech from a young age nurtures children with refined values and strong character.

Every Jewish home should have a copy of Shemirat HaLashon. This is not just another book; it is a foundation for building a moral and healthy home.

The way we speak shapes the world we live in.

And those who invest in this area will, without doubt, see the reward in their children, in their homes, and in the society they help build.