Rabbi Shteinman’s Timeless Guidance on Education and Raising Children

In the book “HaPinkas,” a passage is brought from the personal diary of Rabbi Yitzchak Levinstein, who merited to serve as a close aide to Rabbi Aharon Leib Shteinman. We have gathered four questions that were presented to Rabbi Shteinman at a major education conference held in Monsey, where educators assembled to seek his guidance.

Question: Is it permissible to expel children from an institution due to disrespectful behavior and inappropriate speech?

Rabbi Shteinman’s response:
“Inappropriate speech is indeed a serious issue, and if it negatively influences others, there may be no choice. But as for disrespect, I do not recognize such a concept. A child does not want to be disrespectful; he wants to please his teachers and parents. Usually, it begins when a child does something wrong and is reprimanded too harshly. The child becomes hurt, reacts by hurting back, and the cycle continues endlessly. One must investigate the source of the pressure the child is experiencing, because pressure is often the root of a child’s decline. Every decline,” Rabbi Shteinman emphasized, “generally has an underlying cause that must be examined.”

Regarding expulsion, he added that a school principal should never make such a decision alone. It must be handled by an educational committee, with oversight from a rabbinic board.

Question: Should schools accept only children from “good” homes?

Rabbi Shteinman’s response:
“Let me ask you — would Avraham have been accepted, with a father like Terach? Would Rivka have been accepted, with a father like Betuel and a brother like Lavan? Certainly not! If only we ourselves were even a fraction of what they became. How can we reject children from good homes, even if they are not entirely aligned with Torah values? The main focus should be the child. If there are concerns about the parents, the matter should be referred to an educational committee.”

Question: How can we instill in a child a genuine appreciation for prayer?

Rabbi Shteinman’s response:
“This depends greatly on personal example. The way children see their father or teacher pray, is how they will pray. The more reverence for Heaven a teacher possesses, the more it will enter the hearts of the students.”

He added a well-known analogy from the Vilna Gaon, who once told the Dubno Maggid: water can only overflow from a cup when it is filled to the brim. So too, only someone who is truly filled with awe of Heaven can influence others.

Rabbi Shteinman concluded that every teacher must study works of ethical development daily. By strengthening their own spiritual awareness, they will naturally be able to inspire their students.