You Are Not Your Struggles: A Powerful Message for Personal Growth

When I was asked to write a column aimed at young people, I hesitated. It is not my natural field. I am more accustomed to speaking with parents, and that is a completely different language. But after giving it some thought, I remembered several powerful messages that Rabbi Uri Zohar of blessed memory would often share, and I felt they were worth passing on.

Beyond Empty Encouragement

Encouragement is everywhere today. We are constantly told to stay strong, to believe, to push forward. At some point, all these words can begin to feel empty. Instead of adding more of the same, it is worth looking at things from a different angle.

We are all familiar with the “classic” inner struggles, jealousy, desire, and the pursuit of honor. But there is another type of inner voice, far more subtle and sophisticated. This voice tries to define us, to convince us that we are not truly good, not truly righteous, and therefore there is no point in trying. Its goal is not temptation alone, but discouragement.

The Two Sides Within Us

The truth is that every person is complex. We are built with two systems within us. One is elevated and spiritual, often described as the divine soul. The other is more physical and instinctive, the animal side of our nature.

Both exist in every one of us. This is not something to fear. It is part of being human. Rabbi Uri Zohar used to describe it in a vivid way. Not only do we have a single “animal” within us, but an entire zoo. A peacock, a hedgehog, a lion, a leopard. Each person carries a different combination of drives, impulses, and emotional forces.

Our role is not to eliminate these forces, but to manage them. To guide them in the right direction. To know when to be light and flexible, and when to be strong and determined. To take all of that inner energy and channel it toward meaningful and constructive goals.

This is a journey. It includes progress, and at times, setbacks. That is part of the process.

Refusing to Be Defined by Struggle

What matters most is how we respond to that inner voice that tries to weaken us. When it comes with arguments and “proof” drawn from our struggles, it must be challenged.

Because its claim is false. The presence of inner conflict does not disqualify us. It does not mean we are failing. On the contrary, it is part of growth.

The fact that different forces within us are revealed, clarified, and brought to the surface is not a contradiction to being a good person. It is the very path through which a person develops strength, awareness, and depth.

Perhaps that is the most important message of all. Growth does not happen in the absence of struggle; it happens because of it.