The Secret to Raising Confident Children: Understanding Their Inner World

“And they sustained the children.” This is the essence of education.

In the Torah portion of Parashat Shemot, we read of one of Pharaoh’s harshest decrees, the command to kill newborn Hebrew boys. The Hebrew midwives however, Yocheved and Miriam, defied his orders. Not only did they help bring the babies into the world, but they also ensured their survival, caring for them and protecting them. As the verse states: “The midwives feared God… and they sustained the children.”

Understanding the World of a Child

We must recognize that a child’s world is fundamentally different from that of an adult. A child lives in a world filled with imagination, curiosity, sensitivity, and often insecurity. Children experience reality through innocent and emotional lenses, where feelings are vivid and deeply felt.

They learn through play, stories, and emotional connection. At the same time, they need stability and security, alongside a natural desire for independence and self discovery. Often, children struggle with strong emotions and internal conflicts, and they look to adults for guidance. Parents and teachers serve as their anchor, their protection, and their example. Even if children do not express it openly, they deeply long for understanding, attention, and emotional support.

The Need for Stability and Growth

A central element of childhood is the need for structure. A stable framework gives children a sense of security, allowing them to explore and grow with confidence. At the same time, they are developing their personal identity, trying to understand who they are within their environment.

Each child develops at a different pace, with unique strengths and interests. Therefore, education must be individualized. A nurturing approach that combines warmth, listening, and support allows children to flourish and reach their full potential.

A child’s world is deeply influenced by their surroundings, family, school, friends, and community. All of these shape their personality and values. When we invest in creating a positive and supportive environment, we contribute significantly to raising healthy, confident, and resilient children.

Why Understanding Children Matters

Truly understanding a child’s world is one of the most important responsibilities of parents and educators. When we take the time to observe and understand, we can build stronger communication, guide children more effectively, and create a solid foundation for their future.

Many challenges in education stem from a lack of awareness of children’s needs. Even with good intentions, parents and teachers can make significant mistakes when they do not fully understand the child’s perspective.

Common Mistakes in Parenting and Education

There are several common pitfalls that arise from this misunderstanding. Unrealistic expectations can place unnecessary pressure on children, leading to frustration and a sense of failure. Dismissing a child’s emotions as trivial can harm their emotional development.

Overlooking the importance of play and creativity ignores one of the most powerful tools for learning. Failing to understand cognitive and social needs can leave children feeling confused or disconnected. Harsh reactions or inappropriate punishment can damage self confidence and create emotional distance.

Impatience can disrupt natural growth, while focusing only on results instead of the learning process undermines true development. Comparing children to others can deeply harm their sense of self worth and motivation.

Children Need Life and Vitality

“Man is like a tree in the field.” A child is like a flower that longs to grow into a strong and fruitful tree. Like any plant, a child needs care, attention, and nourishment. Without it, the child can wither.

Children today often seem disconnected. They go through the motions of daily life, school, activities, routines, yet something essential is missing. That missing element is vitality, a sense of inner life and energy. Without it, children search for artificial excitement in screens, risky behavior, or external stimulation.

Bringing Life Back into Parenting

True vitality means engaging with children with warmth, eye contact, and genuine presence. It means stepping out of routine and connecting on a deeper level. Behind every grade and every test is a child with a heart and soul that needs to be seen.

Like Batya, Pharaoh’s daughter, who opened the basket and saw not just a baby, but a crying child, we too must open our eyes. We may see children every day, but are we truly seeing them?

When we truly see them, we recognize their struggles, their hidden pain, and their need for compassion. We respond with empathy, understanding, and support. We help them feel valued, regardless of their achievements.

Every child carries a spark within. Our role is not to extinguish it, but to nurture it. Give children the space to live with joy, meaning, and genuine vitality.

When we do, we will discover just how much they were longing for it all along.