Speak So People Understand: The Torah’s Lesson on Effective Communication

“Sign, and I’ll give you the cash value of the check,” the clerk told the Arab man.

The man refused. “My father warned me never to sign anything.” The clerk declined to process the check, and the man grew angry, claiming discrimination.

The bank manager called him in, delivered a sharp slap to his cheek, and ordered him to sign. He signed.

The clerk, surprised, asked him: “Why did you refuse with me, but agree with him? That’s exactly what I told you.”

“You spoke,” the man replied. “He explained.”

A Message Given in Two Languages

Before the giving of the Torah, the Holy One, blessed be He, turns to Moshe and sends him with a unique message to those about to receive it:

“So shall you say to the House of Yaakov, and tell the Children of Israel: You have seen what I did to Egypt, and how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to Me. And now, if you will surely listen to My voice and keep My covenant, you shall be to Me a treasured possession from among all peoples, for all the earth is Mine. And you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. These are the words that you shall speak to the Children of Israel.”

Rabbi Yehoshua Leib Diskin draws attention to a striking detail. The passage begins with the House of Yaakov and the Children of Israel, yet it concludes with “These are the words that you shall speak to the Children of Israel.” Where did the House of Yaakov go?

Moshe descends from the mountain to deliver the message: “Moshe came and called for the elders of the people, and placed before them all these words.” The elders? Where did all the rest of the people, who were waiting to receive the Torah, disappear to?

Speaking to Each Person in Their Language

A prime minister decided to visit the public, accompanied by a distinguished group of ministers. They toured institutions chosen to represent different segments of society.

At a school, the principal said, “The budget is insufficient, and we are struggling with deficits.”

The prime minister responded with an apologetic smile. “These are not funds I can approve if they do not exist. The government is in deficit, and we all suffer from it. Educate the next generation to be content with what they have.”

At a university, the dean described a much larger financial gap, emphasizing the importance of academic research and higher education. The prime minister smiled and shrugged. There was still no money.

The third stop was a prison. The warden explained, “The meals are poor, the mattresses are uncomfortable, and the nights are very cold. We urgently need more funding.”

This time, the prime minister immediately instructed his secretary to transfer 200 million shekels to improve prison conditions.

On the flight back, the ministers questioned him. “There is no money in the treasury. Why did you refuse everyone else but approve the prison?”

The prime minister answered calmly, “We have already finished school. We are not going back to university at this stage of life. But prison, there is a very real chance we might end up there.”

Different Levels, Different Messages

The Maharil Diskin explains that God taught Moshe a fundamental principle. Among the people of Israel are different spiritual levels. Those referred to as the House of Yaakov represent individuals at a lower spiritual level. They must be addressed in a language they understand. They are motivated by what they have seen, by consequences and by promises of benefit. For them, the message emphasizes reward and punishment.

In contrast, the Children of Israel are addressed at a higher level. They are told of a deeper purpose: to become a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. The essence of Torah is not reward or punishment, but transformation. It elevates a person and brings him closer to the Creator.

When Moshe understood that not every message fits every audience, he realized that the highest level of Torah could only be received by those spiritually prepared for it. That is why he gathered the elders, those capable of grasping its deepest meaning.

The Responsibility to Communicate Wisely

If, at the giving of the Torah, the foundation of existence itself, God tailored His words to different audiences, then certainly in everyday life we must do the same.

People are different. Their perspectives, experiences, and levels of understanding are not the same. A message that inspires one person may confuse or even alienate another.

The lesson is simple but demanding. It is not enough to speak; one must learn how to explain.