Elul, Waiting, and Faith: Finding Strength in the Journey of Not Yet

Once again, Elul is knocking at my door.

The search has not yet ended in finding, but I find myself every Elul anew, gathering the pieces and reminding myself that God exists and runs everything. He is the One who decided “not yet.” He is the One who placed me on hold.

Still waiting.

But what is holding me together in this waiting?

A gift.

The knowledge that there is something waiting at the end of the road, a present wrapped with a purple ribbon exactly the way I imagined it.

In this piece, I want, together with you, my loyal readers, to reflect on the past year from a different perspective. Through my previous columns about being single, I learned so much about myself, what I want and need, what I can and cannot do, and what strength I still have even while standing in endless anticipation, waiting for something to happen.

Some of your responses left me breathless. They pushed me to become a better “waiter,” more patient and composed. I found myself standing in line with dignity, not resenting how long it is or when my turn will come. With you, I learned lessons that even the hardest experiences could not teach me.

Learning to Sing Through Pain

At first, I thought I was perfect and that I deserved perfection.

Over time, through challenges and growth, I realized that I am not perfect, and perfection does not exist. When I learn to accept my own imperfections, I gain the ability to accept the imperfections of others, including my future partner.

There is no perfection, but there is something else, someone whose missing pieces are completed.

I began to see everything as a message from God. And when I searched my articles online and found 5,151 results, it struck me deeply.

515 is the numerical value of my name, Shira.

And the extra one is God, and love, both sharing the same value.

The Power of Words and Faith

The love I long for already exists in what God gives me every moment. We are not alone in this story. God is here, loving, generous, and wanting to give us the very best.

But there is a price.

To receive that goodness, we must learn to sing through pain, loneliness, and longing, even when we feel like crying.

To reach your love, the one waiting for you, you must step out of sadness and begin to speak faith. “I believed, therefore I spoke.” When you speak positively, you strengthen your faith. When you bring good words into the world, you invite God’s presence into your life.

You begin to feel loved by Him, and there is no greater love than that.

Breaking Out of Self Imposed Limits

To truly express your inner strength and independence, you must step beyond the limits you placed on yourself.

You must choose to open your eyes and walk through life with clarity, without questioning Heaven. You must reveal your inner light even before you fully discover it.

To sing your unique song in this world, the song that leads you to your promised destination, you must step into the shoes of Moses, who prayed 515 prayers.

What Truly Matters

Moses prayed and pleaded, yet he did not enter the Land.

Why would I be any different? Why should my prayers be answered if his were not?

The answer is hidden in his name.

Because he was Moshe, he became Rabbeinu, our teacher. He continued praying, drawing every possible word into his prayers, never giving up. He did not focus on outcomes. He prayed because prayer itself is the connection between him and God.

Prayer is not about checking off a task or forcing a result. It is about accepting that sometimes the answer may be no, and that is okay. It is about understanding that there is a higher logic beyond our own. Life is a process. Seeds take time to grow. We are meant to develop, to learn, to evolve.

Not everything needs to happen instantly.

If we allow frustration to take over, we miss the point. The real goal is to learn how to enjoy even the “pickles in our jar” without making a sour face.

Finding Meaning in the “Nothingness”

Every Elul, I feel like I become a new creation. But this piece, which flowed so effortlessly, feels like a gift, so that you, too, can turn your jar upside down and discover a different taste.

Our path is not easy. Sometimes it is very hard.

But God is here. And if we are alone, then this too is His will, and therefore, it is exactly what is best for us right now.

Why? I do not know. And I do not need to know. What I do know is that God exists, and there is nothing besides Him. Even the “nothingness” is part of Him. It is an additional layer given to us to navigate our loneliness.

Perhaps there is even humor hidden within it. Maybe part of our journey is to learn how to laugh, to smile, to find light even in difficulty. To give thanks, and to hold on to faith.

Because the One who can break can also repair.

If you are the one who caused damage, then return, repair, and grow.

And if God is the One who shaped your reality this way, then trust that only He can restore it, crown it with dignity, and make it whole again.