Parenting, Friendship, and Rejection: How to Build Confidence Without Guilt

My good friend “dumped” me for a new friend. For days I kept asking myself, “Why did she do this to me?” I’m a bit calmer now, but every time I see her, my heart starts pounding, with anger and a bad feeling. What can I do to help myself?

It’s completely natural to feel hurt when you lose a close friend. You probably used to sit together during breaks, chat, and share your deepest secrets. Now you feel lost. You ask yourself, “Why did she do this to me? I must have done something terrible.”

But the real question is: does this answer you’re giving yourself — when you don’t even know if it’s true, actually help you feel better? Most likely, it doesn’t.

So first of all, when you see your friend and feel that wave of discomfort, pause and take a deep breath. Deep breathing will help calm you and allow you to think more clearly. Then gently ask yourself: Did something happen that may have caused this? Maybe there was something small you didn’t notice that led to this situation.

If you know for sure that something did happen, good. You may be able to learn something from it. But if you don’t know what happened at all, try speaking with her. Ask calmly, without anger or resentment. You might be surprised to discover that what happened has nothing to do with you — it may be due to completely different reasons.

If you see that she isn’t open to talking, then gently let go.

(Menucha Fuchs, author and educational expert)

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I have an only daughter in kindergarten. I find myself constantly chasing after other children so she can visit them, but no mothers cooperate. Even in our building, my daughter doesn’t have friends to visit. She has one friend, and she’s become dependent on her — even giving her gifts just so she won’t be alone. What can I do?

It sounds like your desire to find friends for your daughter, and the efforts you’re making, are stirring up personal feelings or past experiences within you. The lack of response may be making you feel rejected or unwanted.

Ask yourself: What need of mine would be fulfilled if my daughter weren’t being turned down?

The core issue here is not whether your daughter has friends, but your own internal experience — perhaps feelings of rejection, or even guilt about her being an only child.

Healthy relationships cannot be forced, and no one wants to be pressured into a connection. At the same time, no one can truly make you feel rejected. That feeling is created internally. The fact that someone doesn’t want your presence at a given moment does not define your worth.

When you try to solve feelings of being “unwanted” by forcing friendships, you are not acting from calm judgment, but survival.

My suggestion is to explore what you are personally experiencing in this situation, and to ease up on actively seeking friendships. They will come more naturally when they are not being used to fill hidden emotional needs.

(Inbal Elhayani, MA, certified NLP and guided imagery therapist)

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My children behave disrespectfully, and I feel like it’s all my fault. I find it hard to set boundaries, and I constantly feel afraid that I am harming them. In a generation that talks so much about children’s emotional well-being, how can we set boundaries without constant guilt?

We live in a generation of abundance. Our children receive more than ever — materially, emotionally, and educationally, and yet many parents live with constant guilt. Why?

Because we’ve been told: “Be authoritative — but not strict.” “Speak at their level — but don’t be their friend.”

We’ve been warned again and again that children might be hurt, develop emotional gaps, or one day sit on a therapist’s couch and say…

The truth is, the difficulty isn’t setting boundaries, but fear of the consequences. This fear weakens our parental confidence until we forget our role.

Our role as parents is to lead, guide, and educate. Children are not shaped by what we say alone. They sense what truly matters to us, what disappoints us, and what brings us joy. They know us well. They live alongside us and absorb our atmosphere and values.

It’s important to remember that children are not made of glass. They are far stronger and more resilient than we think.

So yes, self-reflection is important, but not about setting boundaries themselves. Rather, about the times we give in from fear.

A boundary set with belief, confidence, and inner calm does not harm a child — it gives them stability, security, and direction.

(Noa Harel, parenting coach and relationship counselor)