20 Powerful Practices for Finding the Right Match

Finding the right marriage partner can be an emotional and challenging journey. In Jewish tradition, alongside practical effort and personal growth, many people turn to prayer, mitzvot, and spiritual strengthening for support and merit.

Throughout the generations, leading rabbis have shared practices and segulot believed to help those searching for their soulmate.

Trust That Matches Come From Hashem

The Torah repeatedly emphasizes the bond between husband and wife, and the sages teach that matches are guided by Hashem Himself.

The Gemara relates that when a queen asked Rabbi Yosef what Hashem does after creating the world, he answered: “He matches couples.”

This idea serves as a reminder that even when the process feels difficult or delayed, a person’s match is ultimately in the hands of Heaven.

1. Pray Again and Again

The Stipler would often tell people searching for a match not to rely only on others’ blessings.

“Pray for yourself,” he advised. “Every prayer helps. There is no such thing as a prayer that goes unanswered.”

2. Welcome Shabbat with Joy

Welcoming Shabbat is considered a special merit for finding a spouse.

The sages describe Shabbat as the “bride” of the Jewish people, and the Gemara recounts how Rabbi Yannai would prepare himself beautifully and say, “Come, bride. Come, bride.”

3. Honor Your Parents

Jewish books emphasize the importance of honoring one’s parents as a merit for finding a worthy match.

4. Recite Psalms After the Amidah

Some recommend reciting the chapter “A Song of Ascents, I lift my eyes to the mountains” after the Amidah prayer before stepping away from one’s place.

5. Strengthen Faith

Many rabbis stress the importance of trusting that the timing of one’s match is determined by Hashem and that even difficult experiences may ultimately serve a purpose.

6. Be Careful with Lashon Hara

Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky advised people searching for a match to be especially careful about avoiding lashon hara, harmful speech about others.

7. Recite Psalms for 40 Consecutive Days

Rabbi Moshe Sternbuch recommended a practice of reciting Psalms in synagogue for 40 straight days while also giving charity and praying sincerely for one’s needs.

8. Buying a Tallit for a Future Groom

Some consider purchasing a tallit for a future groom to be a meaningful segulah connected to finding a match.

9. Pray at the Western Wall for 40 Days

Many people pray continuously for 40 days at the Western Wall, a place deeply connected to the Divine Presence.

10. Pray at the Grave of Rabbi Leib of Suffering

Praying at the grave of Rabbi Leib of Suffering in Safed is regarded by some as a special merit, especially for those seeking a match.

11. Pray for Someone Else

The sages teach that “one who prays for another person with the same need is answered first.”

Rabbi Steinman encouraged singles and couples waiting for children to sincerely pray for one another.

12. Recite the Blessing of the Moon Carefully

Some rabbis recommended reciting Kiddush Levana, the blessing over the new moon, with concentration and preferably in a minyan.

13. Say the Blessing “Who Created” with Intention

Rabbi Steinman advised paying careful attention to the blessing “Who Created,” often recited at celebrations, saying each word thoughtfully and with intention.

14. Study and Prayer

Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky suggested that men study the tractate Kiddushin, while women strengthen themselves in prayer.

15. Avoid Criticism and Grudges

Rabbi Kanievsky also emphasized avoiding criticism of others and letting go of resentment.

16. Seek Forgiveness

Another recommendation was to consider whether anyone may still feel hurt or offended and to seek reconciliation where possible.

17. Recite the Song of the Sea with Joy

Some recommend saying the Song of the Sea during Shacharit each day with happiness and concentration.

18. Pray at Amuka

Many singles visit the grave of Rabbi Yonatan ben Uziel in Amuka, especially on Rosh Chodesh and on the anniversary of his passing, to pray for a match.

19. Learn Two Halachot Every Day

Rabbi Kanievsky’s wife reportedly encouraged learning two halachot daily as a merit for finding a spouse.

20. Reflect on Teshuvah

Rabbi Dov Yaffe often taught that sincere reflection and repentance are among the greatest spiritual merits a person can have.

Combining Effort and Faith

Alongside segulot and spiritual practices, Judaism also encourages practical effort, personal growth, and patience.

For many people, these customs provide not only hope, but also a deeper sense of connection to prayer, faith, and trust in Hashem during the search for a life partner.