Rabbi Gershon Edelstein’s 7 Practical Secrets for a Happy and Peaceful Life

During many of his inspirational talks, Rabbi Edelstein would read from a small note that he carried regularly in his pocket. On it were seven important principles, which he titled: “Several Very Important Practical Matters for Anyone Who Wants to Be Happy.”

The note included the following points:

1. Do not speak critically about others.

2. Even in your heart, judge every person favorably.

3. Do not hold grudges against others.

4. Make peace with someone who is upset with you.

5. Pray for other people.

6. Say several chapters of Tehillim every day.

7. Study a few minutes of Mussar daily.

1. Guarding One’s Speech

“Guarding one’s tongue — not speaking criticism about another person,” was the first point Rabbi Edelstein chose to emphasize.

2. Judge Every Person Favorably

“Not only should one avoid speaking negatively,” Rabbi Edelstein continued, “but even in one’s heart, every person should be judged favorably, assuming they acted unintentionally.”

He quoted the famous letter of the Ramban to his son: “Every person should appear greater than you in your eyes.”

Rabbi Edelstein explained: “You should think about every person as though they truly are greater than you. ‘If he sins, he does so unintentionally, while you act knowingly.’ You are educated and aware, so when you fail, it is deliberate because you know what is right and still do not fully live up to what you know. But the other person may not know better and therefore is not truly guilty. This is how one should judge others favorably.”

3. Do Not Harbor Resentment

In the third point, Rabbi Edelstein wrote: “One should not be upset with another person. If someone hurt me and I become angry and want revenge, that is a complete mistake.”

He explained: “Everything is from Heaven. The pain was decreed by Heaven, and ‘whatever the Merciful One does is for the good.’ Therefore, this suffering is ultimately for my benefit, even if I do not understand how. It may even be a form of healing for me. If so, why become angry at the other person? In reality, he brought me something beneficial.”

4. Make Peace Even When You Feel Right

Rabbi Edelstein continued: “The Gemara teaches (Yoma 87) that if another person is upset with me and holds resentment toward me, even if he is not correct, he is still a Jew — a holy Jewish soul. When someone carries resentment, it harms him spiritually, and therefore we must help save him from sin.”

“For this reason,” he said, “one should try to appease him so that he no longer carries resentment. Even if he is not right, one should still seek peace because of the mitzvah of ‘Love your fellow as yourself.’”

5. Pray for Others

Rabbi Edelstein taught: “There is a principle that Heaven responds measure for measure. Therefore, our Sages say that one who prays for another person is answered first.”

“If someone needs salvation and sincerely prays for another person to receive help, then through that merit, he himself will also receive salvation.”

But he emphasized that this only applies when the prayer comes from a genuine heart: “When a person truly feels compassion for another and fulfills ‘Love your fellow as yourself,’ then Heaven will also show compassion toward him.”

6. Say Tehillim Every Day

Rabbi Edelstein also encouraged saying Tehillim daily: “It is important to say at least a little Tehillim every day — several chapters according to one’s ability, whether one chapter, two, or three.”

He explained that Tehillim carries immense spiritual power because these are the prayers of King David.

7. Learn Mussar Every Day

Finally, Rabbi Edelstein concluded: “The advice that strengthens everything else is to study Mussar books for a few minutes every day.”

However, he stressed that the learning must be engaging: “The Mussar has to interest the person, because what does not interest a person does not influence him.”

He recommended classic works such as:

• Duties of the Heart

• Path of the Just

• Pele Yoetz

• Shaarei Teshuva

• Orchot Tzaddikim

“And anyone who studies a few minutes of Mussar every day,” Rabbi Edelstein said, “will see its influence on the atmosphere of the home. The mood in the house changes, and the home becomes happier and filled with joy.”

Rabbi Edelstein concluded: “These are things that give a person a good and happy life, with Hashem’s help.”