Reading Struggles: The Battle Many Children Fight Quietly

At the last parent teacher meeting, I once again found myself speaking with a teacher about one of my daughters and the difficulty she has with reading. Reading is slow for her, exhausting, and something she simply does not enjoy.

However, this challenge was not completely unfamiliar to me. One of her older siblings went through something similar, and I still remember the diagnostician telling me years ago that “dyslexia is a gift.” But between us, hearing that does not suddenly make the challenge easier for the child receiving that “gift,” especially when they still have 12 long years inside the school system ahead of them.

This time, though, the teacher surprised me with a refreshingly different perspective. Instead of only repeating the usual recommendations about support hours, tutors, accommodations, and limited school resources, she suggested something else entirely: “Let her listen to audio stories.”

“It’s Okay to Listen Instead”

“Education is not only acquired through reading,” the teacher explained. “If reading is difficult for her right now, we can work around it. Let her listen to smart, meaningful stories instead.”

I immediately liked the idea. Her older siblings had grown up listening to classic Jewish audio stories and lectures, but I worried she might not connect to it. After all, this generation has already seen and consumed so much stimulation.

To my surprise, she connected deeply.

That does not mean we stopped pursuing outside help or evaluations, and it certainly does not mean she will never need to read again, even though that sounds like an excellent solution from her perspective. But for a few moments, we were able to stop constantly pressing the exhausting button of “you need to read,” and instead switch to something softer: “It’s okay to pause and listen.”

“This is a different generation,” the wise teacher told me. “Today, there is more than one way to succeed.”

And honestly, she was right.

The Strengths Nobody Sees

During the conversation, since we were discussing focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses, I mentioned my daughter’s growing obsession with miniature models and tiny creative projects.

Truthfully, it did not surprise me at all.

The psycho didactic evaluation reflected something I had already seen clearly from a very young age: alongside weaker verbal abilities, she possesses extraordinary visual and creative talent. And honestly, a mother often does not need an official evaluation to see what is already right in front of her eyes.

At age three, she was drawing at a level far beyond children her age. Today, at nine years old, she builds complex miniature models clearly labeled “Ages 14 and Up,” without reading the English or Chinese instructions, of course.

While I struggle to understand where certain electrical wires belong, she immediately understands how pieces connect together. She assembles tiny wooden parts, cuts miniature fabrics with incredible precision, and intuitively solves visual problems that would frustrate most adults.

The School System Is Hard on Children Who Struggle With Reading

I could easily stay only in the encouraging world of “focus on strengths,” but there is also a painful reality that needs to be said openly: for children who struggle with reading, school can feel brutally difficult. And not because they are not intelligent.

The academic demands increase year after year. The amount of material students are expected to read, absorb, memorize, and process keeps growing. Meanwhile, most teachers are managing classrooms filled with dozens of students and simply cannot realistically tailor every lesson to every child’s needs.

For many struggling children, school slowly becomes associated with frustration, embarrassment, exhaustion, and self doubt.

Think about how much reading fills an ordinary day: siddurim, schoolbooks, street signs, text messages, homework, worksheets, subtitles, instructions, articles, exams. Most people move through all of it automatically, barely noticing. But for a child struggling with reading, those endless words and letters can feel overwhelming every single day.

Please Don’t Wait

If there is one message I would want to share from the bottom of my heart, it is this: if your child is struggling with reading, do not wait for it to “just pass.”

Get help. Get evaluations. Ask questions. Seek support.

Yes, evaluations can be expensive. Yes, the bureaucracy can be exhausting. But your child is worth both the money and the effort.

And sometimes, receiving a proper diagnosis lifts an enormous weight off both the child and the parents. Suddenly you realize that your child does not simply “hate reading.” It is genuinely difficult for them. That understanding changes everything.

Not Every Child Needs the Same Path

I do not have a perfect ending to this story yet. I still do not know exactly what the coming school years will look like for my daughter, and perhaps she will always need to learn differently from others.

But I do have hope.

My older daughter, who once struggled deeply herself, is now finishing her matriculation exams successfully after years of hard work and perseverance.

And perhaps that is the most important lesson of all: not every child has to succeed in exactly the same way. Some children truly need the alternate route.

In the end, grades, accommodations, and evaluations are only part of the story. What matters most is that a child does not lose faith in themselves along the way.

And that is my greatest tefillah: that my daughter continues believing in her intelligence, creativity, curiosity, and strengths. Because if she holds on to those things, then as far as I am concerned, we have already won.