Overcoming Emotional Eating: How Positive Nourishment and Inner Balance Transform Our Relationship With Food

After a particularly frustrating day at work, you stop at the supermarket, but instead of choosing something healthy, you find comfort in sweets or salty snacks. At first you feel better thanks to the quick burst of energy the food provides — but soon after, feelings of guilt, sadness, or even self-anger may appear. Most of us probably recognize this situation.

How can we successfully cope with emotional eating?

Positive Nourishment vs. Negative Nourishment

It is important to understand that the Hebrew word for “nutrition” comes from the word “nourishment.” Nourishment can be either positive or negative.

Positive nourishment

Healthy foods such as fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains (whole wheat, rye, spelt, etc.), and a variety of legumes (lentils, beans, and chickpeas — not canned or frozen). These foods contain vitamins, minerals, and dietary fiber essential for the proper functioning of all body systems.

Negative nourishment

Unhealthy foods containing high levels of sugar, fat, and salt — such as processed or industrial foods, frozen meals, canned products, snacks, and pastries. These are considered “empty carbohydrates,” meaning foods with very low nutritional value and often little to no vitamins or minerals.

When you notice a strong, almost uncontrollable urge to eat, try to choose foods that provide positive nourishment. For example, a banana, date, mango, or another sweet fruit can satisfy the craving for sweets.

While the first impulse is usually toward unhealthy food, as our sages taught, “human inclination tends toward negativity from youth,” and just as in the creation story darkness came before light — the challenge is to redirect that impulse toward a healthier, more beneficial choice.

Out of the “darkness,” we are invited to choose light — the positive nourishment that benefits body and soul. (People with diabetes or pre-diabetes must consult their healthcare provider regarding daily fruit intake.)

Emotional Nourishment — Positive or Negative?

Emotional nourishment can also be divided into two types.

Positive emotional nourishment includes joy, happiness, love, self-acceptance, and confidence.

Negative emotional nourishment includes anger, frustration, irritability, resentment, sadness, despair, and even depression.

Pause for a moment and reflect: Do most of your days feel filled with joy, fulfillment, and confidence — or with sadness, self-criticism, or harsh inner judgment?

If negativity is more dominant, this is the moment to choose a positive shift in our thoughts and worldview — because this is the root. Thoughts shape speech, and speech shapes actions. Rabbis and Kabbalistic teachers discuss this widely, and many practical tools exist to help cultivate positive emotional nourishment.

Emotional Eating as Compensation

Emotional eating may also develop as a form of compensation. Fatigue, heaviness, and exhaustion reflect a lack of internal energy, motivation, or emotional strength. The quickest solution is to seek energy from an external source, and often, the most accessible food is the least healthy.

The Rambam teaches that body and soul are one. Physical exhaustion often reflects emotional or spiritual exhaustion — from demanding work, family responsibilities, burnout, or inner strain.

This is the time to pause and ask:

• Is my exhaustion physical — or is the soul trying to say something?

• Has something in my life fallen out of balance?

• Is that imbalance triggering emotional eating?

If the answer is yes, the question becomes: How can I care for myself in the healthiest and most beneficial way?

Learning How to Receive — and How to Give

Giving is a central value in Judaism, but it must be done wisely.

Some people only know how to give, but do not know how to receive, or do not feel they receive support or appreciation. As a result, they become emotionally and energetically empty — and may turn to unhealthy food for comfort or temporary relief.

This is an example of imbalanced giving — giving until the inner vessel is empty.

The Baal HaSulam teaches: “Receive in order to give.” We must learn how to receive — because only then do we truly have something to give.

Receiving may mean:

• accepting a compliment

• appreciating a kind word

• welcoming help or generosity

• receiving emotional support

It is not shameful to receive. Everything is abundance flowing from the Creator through different people and situations — and we are all His messengers.

And yet, we must not remain in self-focused receiving. Instead, we should transform it into positive receiving that leads to giving — by directing some of our spiritual and physical abundance toward kindness, charity, volunteering, and helping others.

Often, we don’t need to look far — even those in our own home may deeply appreciate a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, or compassionate words.

When we both receive and give, we create healthy emotional balance. We feel happier, those around us feel happier, and the likelihood of emotional eating decreases. And even when it does appear, we are far better equipped to cope with it.