Why Does a Doctor Lecture About the Dangers of Smoking, Then Smoke?

"I don't believe her, and I don't feel any weight in her words!" said Bar, then turned to Ma'ayan: "You say what you say because you know it's the right thing to say. But I feel that nothing you say truly comes from within you…".

"So where does it come from? Do you think I'm possessed?" Ma'ayan responded, exasperated.

"You're not understanding me," Bar shouted.

"You don't understand me," Ma'ayan raised her voice even more.

Both of them waited for me to rescue them.

"Let's try to listen to what's being said on the hidden level: Bar is expressing a point that needs healing in your relationship. Beneath his anger and frustration, there's a request for connection. He is fighting for the relationship with you, Ma'ayan.

"Now let me explain a bit more. Imagine for a moment a building with three floors. The structure of the soul is such that the top floor is the intellectual floor, which consists of all the things we know, learn, and think about. Below that is the emotional floor, which is the realm of the attributes, and below that is the floor of action, from which we then move to speech.

"Speech is considered actual action - and it's already outside the inner structure of the soul.

"Bar claims that what happens with you, Ma'ayan, is that you skip the emotional floor and go straight to the action floor.

This is highly problematic because it allows you to say all kinds of things you think without them truly being part of you, but only part of your intellect. The things you say don't really pass through you as they should," I tried to explain.

"I don't understand, what do you mean 'don't pass through me'? I thought of something and spoke it, why does it have to be complicated?" Ma'ayan asked.

"Intellectually, you understand many things. You are truly very intelligent and have immense knowledge. Not only do you know them, but you understand them very well, better than many others. The problem is that all these things are not truly part of you, but only in your awareness.

"I'll give you an example: There's a doctor who lectures and explains how harmful cigarettes are, shows photographs of all the damages they cause, and statistics and pictures of diseases. Suddenly during a break, he calms himself with a cigarette. What is his problem?" I asked.

"He's a hypocrite," said Bar.

"He doesn't truly believe in what he's teaching," said Ma'ayan.

"Not exactly. The problem is that his soul is not unified. His intellectual floor is not united with the emotional floor, creating a disconnect. He knows a lot of material perfectly. He can directly convey it through speech, but it doesn't truly pass through him. For something intellectual to truly pass through you, it needs to go through the emotional attributes in the soul.

"There's a difference between someone who lives the things he knows and someone who merely knows them without them being part of him.

"I'll give you another example: Yesterday, I sat with my son and asked him to explain digital currencies to me. I managed to grasp a large part of it, and it sat well in my awareness. But do you think I can truly explain it to others as my son does to me? No way.

"Why? Because my son lives it. It's not just sitting in his intellect; he breathes the field, buys, sells, follows, and truly the whole subject passes through him.

"The power that makes this happen is the power of unity. When your intellectual side is united with your attributes, then you are united with the matter. Thus, when you express it outwardly in words, it truly emerges from within you, not just from your intellect, and you genuinely express yourself."

"So I still don't understand. What do I need to do to ensure that everything I say truly comes from me as you say?" Ma'ayan asked in despair.

"Do you remember what I told you about my son? What do I actually need to do to convey everything my son taught me about digital currencies through myself?" I asked.

"You need to watch videos on the subject, start trading coins, read articles, and talk about it with people," Bar answered, brilliantly.

"Exactly. Now reflect on the things you say to Bar, and think thoroughly about how you truly convey them through yourself and use your power of unity.

"Remember! The power of unity is the internal force that drives the attribute of knowledge. Therefore, we ask Hashem in prayer three times a day: "Bestow upon us wisdom, understanding, and knowledge." Wisdom and understanding are the intellect, and knowledge is the connection between the intellect and the attributes. It's the place where intellect unites with emotions."

Chana Dayan [email protected]

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