עברית
Faith
Inviting the Deceased to a Wedding
Question
Hello and blessings, my sister is getting married and my mother heard that she needs to go to her father's grave (my mother’s father) to invite him to the wedding. Is this correct? And why? I would appreciate details.. Thank you very much!!
Answer
Greetings, Indeed, some have the custom to visit the family cemetery in the days before the wedding to bow at the graves of the ancestors, in order to invite them to partake in the joy. This is based on what is explained in the holy Zohar (Parashat Pinchas, folio 270b), that the ancestors from the World of Truth participate in the joy of their descendants. However, among the Litvish and Sephardic communities, this custom is not practiced. Sources: This custom is mentioned in the responsa Mahari Engel, part 7 (siman 119 in a note). However, see in the book Derech Sichah, part 1 (page 150) and part 2 (page 364) citing Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky, shlit"a, that it is not customary among us to go to the graves of ancestors on the day of the wedding. Likewise, among the Sephardic communities this is not their custom, as written in the book Mincha L'Chaim (siman 16 note 19).
Wishing mazal tov,
Hillel Meirs
