עברית
Halachot and Customs
Is it permissible to visit a cemetery in the first year?
Question
Shalom Rabbi,
my mother passed away about three months ago, and I wanted to know if it is permissible to visit the cemetery in the first year?
I would appreciate your response.
Answer
Greetings,
The custom is not to visit the grave in the first year, except for the day one completes the shiva, on the thirtieth day, and on the anniversary of the death. The custom among Sephardim is to visit the grave also at the end of the eleventh month.
The reason for this custom is that the deceased is judged within twelve months, thus one should not request them to intercede positively for the living. However, it is permitted to go and recite Psalms there, and it is also permissible to pray at the grave for the elevation of their soul.
Sources: See in the book Neta'ei Gavriel on Mourning, part 2 (chapter 81, section 5), and in She'elot U'teshuvot Shargah HaMe'ir, part 6 (section 8, note 4), and in the book Halichot Shlomo, part 1 (chapter 18, note 74).
The reason for this custom is that the deceased is judged within twelve months, thus one should not request them to intercede positively for the living. However, it is permitted to go and recite Psalms there, and it is also permissible to pray at the grave for the elevation of their soul.
Sources: See in the book Neta'ei Gavriel on Mourning, part 2 (chapter 81, section 5), and in She'elot U'teshuvot Shargah HaMe'ir, part 6 (section 8, note 4), and in the book Halichot Shlomo, part 1 (chapter 18, note 74).
Wishing you good news, salvation, and comfort,
Hillel Meirs.
