Violation of the Covenant and Male Homosexual Intercourse

Hello, honored rabbi, or whoever will answer my question.

First of all, it is very important for me to emphasize that I am very ashamed of my actions, and I would like my question not to be published on the site, unless it would have no benefit for others who might stumble. And if it does, I would be glad if the question and answer were published for the sake of many, as long as my details are hidden. Therefore I will indicate that I want my question to be published on the site, but I will leave that to your personal discretion. I am a young man who began the process of repentance at about age 17. To this day I cannot really say that I have repented, even though I changed my way of life to that of a religious person, because I am still doing bad deeds and living as a sinner, doing evil and shameful acts. It is very hard to ask my question, and even though I consulted my rabbi about this matter, whom I greatly respect and whose opinion I value, I am embarrassed to ask him this question. Despite my shame, I will ask the question and provide whatever details are needed, because truly I have nowhere else to ask it. When I was about a little before bar mitzvah age, as a completely secular child, I was exposed to much of the immorality that exists on the internet, and it surrounded me almost everywhere, even though I did not know it was immorality. This was especially so as a secular child in a secular society where everything is open and people speak about everything, what should be spoken about and what should not, about the good and about the bad, and much of it is bad. Especially as a child who does not understand so well what is good and what is bad and has his own worldview, I remember that as children we simply tried to act like adults and would do, or pretend to do, things that adults do, such as smoking and alcohol (at least that is what we thought as children, that this is how an adult is supposed to behave - this is what is mainly absorbed from the internet and television, and of course this refers to an adult who has no connection at all to a life of Torah and mitzvot). I began to sink into one of the greatest and most severe transgressions there is - violation of the covenant. In addition, even before I began to violate the covenant, an attraction to men began to awaken in me. I want to emphasize that all the violations of the covenant I have had until today were alone or with a man, and I will explain later in what form; I never had any relations with a woman in any form whatsoever. My attraction to men first expressed itself in forbidden sights at the first stage, at the second stage it expressed itself in violation of the covenant alone with myself, and at the third stage it expressed itself in relations with men, but that was much later. Since I began attending Torah classes, which was about the beginning of my repentance process, I gradually learned about this matter, but I still have much to learn, because the plain fact is that I have not succeeded in severing myself from the transgression of violation of the covenant in general, and everything related to relations with men in particular. I learned that the eye sees and the heart covets, and that is how I entered and descended into an even deeper low. So I actually have two questions: 1. I regret what I did and I want to repent completely for everything and live the life of a charedi Jewish man, and I know today that the meaning of the word "man" is not someone who drinks alcohol and smokes cigarettes and drugs and so on and so forth, bad habits and bad deeds that Western society depicts as masculinity, but rather a man is one who overcomes his inclination: "Who is a man? One who overcomes his inclination!" And that is how I want to be, to live a normal life in holiness like a good Jew, to study Torah, to ascend the levels of Hashem step by step, and I even believe and know that if I continue and persist in Torah study then the matter of my sexual inclination and attraction to men will be resolved and I will be able to live without such problems with a woman, with Hashem's help. What concerns me is how one stops this terrible transgression, how? No matter how much I have tried, and even though I know I still have much more to try, I am not successful to overcome my evil inclination. And I do not want to keep falling all the time. 

2. I know what a great virtue it is to be a virgin and guarded when a person marries, and how important the matter of guarding the covenant is in this way, and I want to know whether I am still considered a virgin. It is very important for me to know this. For this I will need to explain some of my bad and terrible deeds. Most of the acts I committed were acts of touch only, without male homosexual intercourse (I know that male homosexual intercourse is when one man penetrates another in the anus), but there were two times when there was male homosexual intercourse - the first time lasted exactly one second, and the second time lasted a few minutes. My doubt about whether I am still a virgin is because in male homosexual intercourse there is a possibility that one of the men can penetrate the other, and in no case was I the one doing the penetrating or performing the act; the act was done to me in both cases. I would appreciate your answer whether I am still considered a virgin, and in any case what is the severity of this specific prohibition of male homosexual intercourse, and how to stop the terrible sin of violation of the covenant. I would appreciate a prompt answer, since this matter troubles me greatly. Thank you very much from the heart to the staff of Hidabroot, and especially to whoever will answer my questions. I am sorry for the graphic and detailed particulars, but they were necessary for my question. Thank you very much, and a blessed Shabbat.