Faith
A First Match from Heaven and a Second Match According to One's Deeds
Question
I am divorced and would very much like to know. It is said that a first match is from Heaven and a second match depends on one’s deeds. I would be glad to know about this. I would also like to know what happens if I am dating an unmarried man. How does that fit in?
Answer
Hello
The kabbalists explain that the expressions first match and second match do not necessarily refer to what comes naturally before a person. Rather, a first match is the match proclaimed for him before his creation, and a second match is the other match, when because of a sin or some other reason he does not merit joining with the first match that was proclaimed for him. Therefore he has a second match with whom he is matched, and this second match depends on a person’s deeds, so a spouse is matched to him according to his spiritual state.
However, it is quite possible that a person, in his first marriage, did not merit joining with his true first match, but rather with another match that depended on his deeds. Only after he rises to a higher level and merits joining with his true first match, then events may unfold so that in his second marriage he comes to the first match!!!
And in the case you are suggesting, it may indeed be that you are the first match of the unmarried man you are currently dating, and you were proclaimed as a couple before your creation, but until now you have not yet merited to join together, and perhaps indeed now the time has come.
Success - Menashe Yisrael
