Faith
Family Purity
Question
Hello and thank you very much for the guidance!
Is one supposed to refrain from marital relations in the days before the onset of the menstrual period, when it is sometimes possible to delay it by about two weeks? And if so, how many days beforehand? This happened once after marital relations, when red spotting was discovered and then disappeared until the menstrual period began the next day.
Thank you very much.
Answer
Hello and blessings.
Indeed, there are days from which one must refrain before the onset of the menstrual period. From the Tahara website: The laws of separation close to the expected time of menstruation. The Sages instituted that husband and wife must refrain from marital relations, and it is preferable to distance oneself from any affectionate physical closeness, near the appearance of menstruation. This law is called in the language of the Sages: separation close to the time of menstruation. A woman can know in advance when the menstruation will appear in three ways.
A. According to the Hebrew date, the menstruation appears on the known date in advance.
B. According to a similar number of days between one period and the next.
C. The menstruation appears immediately near a certain bodily occurrence.
Regarding the laws of separation close to the time of menstruation, one must distinguish between two situations: a fixed cycle, meaning that in the last three times the menstruation appeared exactly as expected, usually at a fixed interval or immediately near a certain bodily occurrence. An unfixed cycle, meaning that the menstruation is not precise in its appearance. If a woman has a fixed cycle, the husband and wife must observe separation close to the time of menstruation at the time the menstruation is due to arrive. If the menstruation is due to arrive at night, the prohibition is for the entire night; if during the day, for the entire day. Some are strict to observe separation also on the day or night before it. If, nevertheless, the menstruation does not appear on time, the woman should examine herself on that day or that night with a deep examination like the examination for the conclusion of purity. If the examination cloth is clean, they are permitted to each other after the end of that day or that night. If she forgot to examine on time, the prohibition of separation remains until she examines. When a woman has an unfixed cycle, one must be concerned that the menstruation may appear unexpectedly, and therefore the Sages established three dates on which the husband and wife must observe separation close to the time of menstruation:
A. On the Hebrew date of the month in which the menstruation began last time, lest the menstruation appear to her on that same day according to the Hebrew month. For example: if the menstruation began on the 25th of Kislev during the day, they should observe separation close to the time of menstruation on the 25th of Tevet during the day.
B. On the thirtieth day from the beginning of the menstruation, lest the menstruation appear, as is common among many women, on the thirtieth day. It should be noted that the thirtieth day may also be the separation date mentioned above in item A. For example: if the menstruation began on Monday night, they should observe separation after four weeks on Tuesday, and they should observe separation at night and during the day. Some are strict to refrain also on the 31st day.
C. After the same number of days that passed between the beginnings of the last two menstrual periods, lest the menstruation appear after the same interval of days in which it appeared last time. For example: if a woman began seeing menstruation on Sunday morning, and after five weeks began seeing on Tuesday morning, she must observe separation after another five weeks on Thursday. If the menstruation appeared last time immediately near a certain bodily occurrence, one must observe an additional separation law beyond what was explained above, if that occurrence happens once again. If blood did not appear on any of the above days, an examination should be performed on that day, as explained above, and they are permitted to each other until the next obligation of separation. In order to know how to observe this law and how to use the above rules properly, it is proper to study halachic books that detail all the situations. A red stain on a white garment the size of a centimeter sometimes renders impure, and one should consult a rabbi. A stain on a colored garment does not render impure. I will be glad to clarify further as needed.
With blessings,
Benjamin Shmueli
