Halachot and Customs
Visiting a Cemetery During the 30 Days of Mourning
Question
Hello, my mother-in-law passed away, and my husband is in the 30-day mourning period. He was informed about a memorial service at the cemetery on the anniversary year. Is it permitted for him to enter the cemetery or not? As far as I know, a person in mourning during the first month is not allowed to enter a cemetery - is that correct or not? I would appreciate an answer as soon as possible, since he wants to go to show honor to the deceased, but he does not know whether this is possible or not. Thank you and a good month. May we all hear good news, amen. Rivka
Answer
Greetings
Indeed, there is an ancient Ashkenazic custom that a mourner does not go to graves of any kind during the first thirty days of mourning, so as not to awaken the attribute of judgment against him through the distress and weeping he experiences when visiting the grave.
During the twelve months of mourning, one does not go up to the grave of the deceased; however, one may go to another grave, but must be careful to stand outside four cubits of the one for whom he is presently in the days of mourning.
Respectfully - Menashe Yisrael
