עברית
Halachot and Customs
Is it Permissible to Give Gifts During a Year of Mourning?
Question
Hello,
I am in mourning this year for my father and have several questions regarding mourning (I am Sephardic):
1- Am I allowed to receive gifts from others in general, and from my husband in particular?
2- If a gift was purchased for me before the passing but was not brought to me, may I receive it?
3- Can I give gifts to others?
4- Can I buy my children new clothes and toys? Even if they are not needed but are on sale and purchased in advance for next year..
5- Is it permissible to wear new clothes that I have in my closet if I lend them to someone else to wear beforehand? Even if I do not have a pressing need for them?
6- Is it possible to buy new clothes for myself during sales without wearing them?
Thank you in advance!
Answer
Dear,
1. You cannot receive gifts during the year of mourning (Rama Yoreh De'ah 384:3; Chazon Ovadia Mourning, part 2, p. 275). However, you may be lenient to accept gifts from your husband in honor of a holiday due to the joy of the holiday, and also to foster peace in the home, etc. (Neta'im Gabriel Mourning, part 2, chapter 14, section 13).
2. No.
3. Simple gifts are permitted, but it is better not to send gifts of joy (see Chazon Ovadia there, p. 276 regarding a mourner who is obligated to send portions, that it is good to send portions of meat and fish, etc., and not luxury items and sweets).
4. It is permitted.
5. According to the custom of Sephardim, one should not wear a new and pressed white garment until after the holiday that follows thirty days, and his friends will admonish him. However, clothes in other colors are allowed to be bought and worn immediately after the completion of the Shiva (short Shulchan Aruch, Yalkut Yosef Mourning, section 22, subsection 3). For a new and pressed garment, one should not be lenient by allowing someone else to wear it if there is no pressing need.
6. It is permissible even outside of sales.
Wishing you good tidings,
Hillel Meirs
