עברית
Halachot and Customs
Clarification on the Prohibition of Wasting Seed
Question
Does the prohibition pertain only to masturbation, or does it also apply to sexual relations with a condom? According to halacha, is it forbidden for me to engage in sexual relations unless it is for the purpose of having children?
Answer
Shalom u'vracha
The matter is quite straightforward. A husband is biblically obligated to engage in marital relations with his wife, regardless of whether she can conceive from those relations or the commandment to be fruitful and multiply. This is a positive commandment in the Torah, and anyone who refrains from having relations at the standard frequency [twice a week] nullifies a mitzvah.
On the other hand, the couple must leave the management of the world to the Creator, and at the time of marital relations, they should entrust the possibility of pregnancy to the Creator, who manages all matters, and not interfere with various considerations such as lack of space in their home or lack of livelihood, etc.
Therefore, it is absolutely forbidden to use any form of contraception during relations. However, if there is a physical or mental health concern that prevents the wife from becoming pregnant, as advised by a doctor ["not a social worker"], then in most cases the wife will receive permission from a Rabbi to take birth control pills, and in such a case, the husband must fulfill his obligation to have relations even when she is prevented from becoming pregnant.
It is not possible to rule on these matters individually, and one must seek the decision of a Rabbi since a person can have bias toward themselves, and sometimes they cling to a consideration that is not appropriate in order to make things easier for themselves.
If there is no physical or mental impediment to bringing another child into the world, the couple should not interfere with the possibilities and chances of conception through various forms of prevention.
Engaging in relations with a condom is always considered 'wasting seed.' The rabbinic permission is only for contraceptive pills. And when taking pills, there is no prohibition of wasting seed since the relations are occurring in the right context.
However, taking pills without a justified reason [a physical reason or a mental reason] is a nullification of the commandment to be fruitful and multiply and a negation of Hashem's desire to increase Ovdei Hashem for Him in the world. I hope all points have been clarified for you.
Best of luck - Menashe Yisrael
