The Verse "And Your Desire Shall Be for Your Husband"

To the questioner,

I apologize for the delay in my response.

As you know, the verse was said regarding the correction given to Chava, the mother of all living, to amend her portion in the sin of Adam HaRishon.

It is known that punishment from Hashem is never intended to be purely negative or to harm; everything is for good and intended for correction.

Thus, every punishment must be viewed in terms of how it reflects "measure for measure" regarding the sin, and in that way, corrects what has been distorted.

In this particular instance, Chava caused a disturbance by compelling Adam HaRishon to partake with her in the sin after she had already eaten from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge.

Behold the words of the Midrash Devarim Rabbah, section 4:

"Rabbi Yitzchak said: To what is this similar? To a king who told his servant not to taste anything until he returns from the bath. His wife told him: Taste this dish so he won't want to put salt or spices in it. The king returned and found him tasting with his lips. The king said to him: Did I not tell you not to eat, and you ate? He replied: My master, your maidservant gave this to me. The king said: And did you listen to my maidservant more than to me? Thus, Hashem said to Adam: And from the tree of knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat. What did Chava do? She fed him. Rabbi Avin said: She did not just plead but cried out her voice, and he ate from it. For it is written: "To the voice of your wife" - it does not say here "to the words of your wife," but "to the voice of your wife"."

From the Midrash, which contains accepted teachings, it emerges that Chava caused through her tears that Adam HaRishon would join her in eating from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge as she had eaten from it.

These are the words of the Kli Yakar (Genesis 3:6):

"And she also gave to her husband with her. The word 'with her.' The commentators explain that is so he will always be with her and not take another wife when she dies. And it could be that she gave to him while he was right there with her, for then she pressed him, as it is said regarding Shimshon (Judges 16:16), and she urged him. For at another time, he might not have listened to her to transgress the word of Hashem, and therefore he said in his excuse, 'the woman whom You gave to be with me.' At the time when she was really with me, she overpowered me, for according to the simple meaning, there is no reason for this excuse."

Therefore, the desire of Adam HaRishon for his wife Chava, and his wish to fully satisfy her needs, even when she transgressed the word of Hashem, is what caused Adam HaRishon to sin.

Thus, correcting Chava must include: 1 - Correcting her own relationship with Hashem - to rectify the very act of eating from the fruit; and also 2 - She needed to correct the stumbling block she caused to another, to her husband.

The correction of "and your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you" is a direct amendment for what Chava caused as a stumbling block for her husband.

In a "measure for measure" approach, just as she "utilized" the original state of "and your desire shall be for your husband" - to the extent of being able to even rule over the man and over his choice between himself and his Creator, now she will need to serve Hashem and demonstrate that she is willing to observe His commandments even in the opposite situation: "and your desire shall be for your husband" - to the extent that it can even have the power to rule over the woman and her choice between herself and her Creator - as she wishes to find favor in her husband's eyes; however, nevertheless, when she stands on guard and does not compromise in observing the laws of the Almighty, then this will be a direct correction for Chava's portion in the sin of Adam HaRishon.

Best regards,

Rabbi Nachum