עברית
Faith
Atonement for the Sin of Wasting Seed
Question
With Hashem's help,
Hello and blessings,
In response to a few years of being married,
After years of carefully observing the issue of wasting seed and prohibited relations and attending classes almost every day,
I fell into the sin of wasting seed. I feel great distress about it.
Since I have fallen, I feel spiritually diminished. I am aware of the severity of the act and I confess and pray intensely about it.
My soul is not at peace.
My inner self is unsettled by this.
What is the way to atone for this?
Thank you very much in advance.
Answer
Hello,
First, one must engage in complete repentance for the sin, which entails regret for the sin, verbal confession (as described below), and a commitment for the future not to return to this sin ever again (Rambam Laws of Repentance, Chapter 2, Law 2).
Verbal confession means that one should say, "Please, Hashem, I have sinned, I have erred, I have transgressed before You and done such and such, and behold, I regret and am ashamed of my actions, and I will not return to this matter again" (Rambam, ibid, Chapter 1, Law 1).
In order for the rectification to be complete, it is advisable to accept upon oneself, without a vow, to increase daily study of Torah—more than one was accustomed to until now.
Sources: Refer to the book Tanya (Iggeret HaTeshuvah, Chapter 9) which states that since one has damaged the covenant by the act of wasting seed, it goes without saying in the case of forbidden relations or other prohibitions of intimate relations, whether rabbinic or biblical (as the words of the sages are serious, etc.), it damages the intellect, and therefore the remedy is to engage in Torah learning that originates from wisdom. This is like the parable of a rope that breaks and is tied again; in the place of the knot, it is doubled and re-tied. And thus is the case with the rope of one's inheritance, etc. See more.
Also, see the responsa of Maharam Shick, Part 1 (end of Siman 58) which proves from the Zohar, Ruth (Section 12) that repentance for this sin is effective in conjunction with Torah learning, and from this it is inferred that the statement in the Zohar (Parashat Vayechi) that repentance for this sin is not effective means without Torah learning. Furthermore, see there, Part 3 (in the indexes, Siman Reshchet, D"H BeDvar) that later found in Rashi in the book of Yehezkel (Chapter 23, Verse 37 in the gloss) which also explicitly states this. And it is also explained in the responsa of Yabia Omer, Part 1 (Part Yoreh De’ah, Siman 14, Section 14) and in the book Chazon Ovadia, Yamin Noraim (page 278).
See also in the book Keter Rosh (Section 137) in the name of the Gaon of Vilna, zt”l, Aglai Tal (in the introduction, D"H VeAl Pi), Mishnah Berurah (Siman 562, Section 3), and what is written in this regard in the responsa of Adret Tiferet, Part 3 (Siman 56). Also, refer to the responsa of Igrot Moshe, Part Orach Chaim, Part 4 (Siman 116) and Part 6 (Siman 40) regarding the order of repentance for the sin of illicit relations with the hand and the like.
Blessings,
Hillel Meirs
