How to Teach Children Sensitivity and Kindness Toward Siblings

My eight year old son is behaving unkindly toward his older sister. How can I help my children learn to be more sensitive toward others?

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A sensitive child does not remain indifferent when seeing another child cry or feel sad. He experiences the emotions of others in a deep way.

Sensitivity toward others helps build a respectful, pleasant, and sincere personality. If we are able to help our children develop this quality, they will in turn be able to pass it on to others.

Start With How You Respond to Your Child

The first step begins with the way we respond to our own child.

We need to learn to offer our children the same sensitivity and consideration that we hope they will show to others.

For example, if your son comes home and tells you that another child in his class upset him, it is worth putting everything aside for a moment and truly listening.

Ask him about what happened, how it made him feel and what was the hardest part. The child needs to understand that his pain is something deeply important. This is what emotional sensitivity looks like.

A child who knows that his feelings are noticed, understood, and taken seriously is far more likely to grow into a child who is sensitive to the feelings of those around him.

Help Him Think About Others’ Feelings

Later on, you can gently build a conversation around his own behavior.

For example, you might describe a situation involving the way he spoke to his sister and ask him what he thinks:

How do you think she felt when that happened? What do you think would have helped her feel better?

This helps him begin to develop empathy rather than simply being told that his behavior was wrong.

Teach Practical Emotional Skills

It is also helpful to teach him practical emotional skills, such as learning to notice what another person may need in order to feel comfortable, respected, and safe.

For instance:

• noticing when someone needs space

• noticing when someone needs comfort

• learning how tone of voice affects others

• practicing kinder ways of expressing frustration

Children usually learn sensitivity less from lectures, and more from the emotional atmosphere at home. When they consistently experience empathy, they gradually learn how to offer it.