Havdalah Laws Explained and Saturday Night Customs

Question: Is it permitted to drink on Saturday night before making Havdalah?

Answer:

From sunset until one recites Havdalah over a cup of wine — and in the Amidah prayer — it is forbidden to eat or drink anything, except for water, which is permitted.

Notes:

If someone already prayed Maariv and made Havdalah over wine, he may eat and drink even if he forgot to say Havdalah in the prayer.

If one began eating a bread meal before sunset, he may continue eating and drinking even after sunset.

Although water is technically permitted before Havdalah, some are careful not to drink even water from sunset onward due to Kabbalistic concerns connected to the return of souls to Gehinnom at that time. However, many authorities explain that this stringency applies only during twilight, before the proper time for Havdalah.

Question: May bread be placed on the table before Havdalah?

Answer:

If one plans to eat immediately after Havdalah, bread should not be brought to the table before Havdalah. If it was already brought, it should be covered.

However, if one is not planning to eat right away, the bread may remain uncovered. The same rule applies to mezonot foods, which is especially common after Yom Kippur.

Question: May one remove the Shabbat tablecloth or change out of Shabbat clothes before Havdalah?

Answer:

One should not remove the Shabbat tablecloth or change out of Shabbat clothing until after Havdalah.

Some authorities even write that Shabbat clothing should remain on until after the Melaveh Malkah meal.

This is also mentioned as a gentle reminder to women not to remove their Shabbat scarves or special garments before Havdalah.

Question: During Havdalah, where should one focus his eyes?

Answer:

Both the person reciting Havdalah and those listening should look at the cup and at the candle.

Question: May one put down the Havdalah cup while reciting the blessings over spices or fire?

Answer:

The cup should not be set down.

When reciting the blessing over spices, one should hold the spices in the right hand and the cup in the left hand. Likewise during the blessing over the fire.

Afterward, the cup is returned to the right hand to complete Havdalah.

Some communities are lenient and place the cup on the table during these blessings, but the preferred practice is to continue holding it.

Question: Must one stand close to the candle when reciting the blessing over fire?

Answer:

Yes. One may only recite the blessing if he can clearly benefit from the candlelight.

The traditional measure is that the light must be strong enough for a person to distinguish between two coins from different countries.

For this reason, many people look at their fingernails during the blessing, because the light allows them to distinguish between the nail and the skin.

The closer one stands to the flame, the better.

Someone listening to another person’s Havdalah should also stand close enough to benefit from the candlelight. If not, he should recite the blessing himself later when near a candle.

Additional Note for Women:

A woman making Havdalah herself should drink from the cup as usual. There is a debate among authorities whether she should personally recite the blessing over the fire.

Question: According to the Mishnah Berurah, when should one look at the fingernails during Havdalah?

Answer:

The Mishnah Berurah writes that one should look at the fingernails before reciting the blessing over the fire. Other authorities say to look afterward.

Because of this disagreement, many careful individuals look twice — once before and once after the blessing.

The custom is specifically to look at the fingernails of the right hand.

Question: When Yom Tov begins on Saturday night, how can one prepare a proper multi-wick candle for Havdalah without halachic concerns?

Answer:

Before Yom Tov begins, one should prepare a floating wick holder with two holes and place a wick in each hole. One of the Yom Tov candles can then be lit using this setup, creating a valid multi-wick flame for Havdalah.

Some authorities prefer Havdalah candles made of wax rather than paraffin.

Question: Should one properly set the table for the Melaveh Malkah meal?

Answer:

Yes. One should spread a tablecloth and prepare the table respectfully, similar to a regular Shabbat meal.

Even if one eats only a small amount, the table should still be arranged honorably.

Many have the custom to light candles as well.

What Should Be Eaten?

Ideally, Melaveh Malkah should include bread. If that is difficult, one may eat mezonot or at least fruit.

Some authorities also encourage eating meat or another cooked dish when possible.

Question: Should Zemirot only be sung on Shabbat itself, and not on Saturday night?

Answer:

No. It is considered a beautiful custom to sing songs and praises both when welcoming Shabbat and when escorting it out after Havdalah.

Many communities sing Psalms, songs about Elijah the Prophet, and other melodies during Melaveh Malkah.

The idea is to accompany the departing “Shabbat Queen” with honor and joy.

Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan reportedly did not sing much during Shabbat meals, preferring Torah discussion, but when conversation drifted toward improper speech, he would begin singing Zemirot to redirect the atmosphere positively.

Question: Is there an obligation to eat a special meal on Rosh Chodesh?

Answer:

There is a mitzvah to enhance one’s meal on Rosh Chodesh.

Although bread is not strictly required, ideally one should eat bread in honor of the day.

Additional Customs:

• Both men and women share equally in this mitzvah.

• Many people add an extra dish beyond their usual weekday meals.

• If Rosh Chodesh falls on Shabbat, an additional special dish should be added to distinguish the holiness of Rosh Chodesh.

• Some authorities compare the meal of Rosh Chodesh to a festive mitzvah meal.

When Rosh Chodesh lasts two days, the custom is to enhance meals on both days.