Jewish Dining Laws Explained: Hamotzi, Mayim Acharonim, and Proper Table Conduct

Question: If someone recites the blessing of “Hamotzi” on behalf of others, may he cut the bread immediately after finishing the blessing?

Answer:

He should wait before cutting the bread until most of those answering “Amen” have finished responding.

Sources: Shulchan Aruch and Mishnah Berurah.

Additional Notes:

The person making the blessing for others should ideally intend to fulfill his own obligation through the “Amen” that others answer.

The poskim write that those answering “Amen” should do so audibly so the one making the blessing can hear them and intend to fulfill the principle of “hearing is like responding.” The listeners should also intend through their “Amen” to assist the one reciting the blessing.

Question: How should the piece of challah or bread be distributed to those at the table?

Answer:

The bread should be handed respectfully without throwing it and without placing it directly into someone’s hand.

Sources: Shulchan Aruch and related halachic works.

Notes:

Even with young children, one should avoid placing the bread directly into their hands.

If one of the participants is in mourning, during weekdays the bread should specifically be given into his hand. On Shabbat this should not be done publicly, so as not to display mourning openly.

Question: When may a person speak after reciting “Hamotzi”?

Answer:

Once he has swallowed a small amount of the bread, he may speak. Nevertheless, it is preferable not to speak until eating a kezayit-sized amount.

Notes:

If someone spoke about unrelated matters after chewing the bread but before swallowing it, the halachic authorities discuss whether a new blessing is required.

One should also avoid walking from place to place before swallowing some of the bread.

Question: Should a person have special intentions while eating and drinking?

Answer:

Yes. Eating, drinking, and all bodily needs should ultimately be for the sake of serving God. One should intend that the food and drink provide strength and health to serve the Creator properly.

Sources: Shulchan Aruch.

Additional Teachings:

The Chayei Adam writes that righteous individuals would say before eating: “I intend to eat and drink so that I will be healthy and strong to serve Hashem.”

The books of Kabbalah teach that one should pray daily for sustenance before eating. Some have the custom to recite Psalm 23 (“Mizmor LeDavid”) as both a prayer for sustenance and words of Torah.

It is also considered a mitzvah to speak words of Torah at the meal table. Many fulfill this through reciting “Al Naharot Bavel” or “Shir Hamaalot” before Birkat Hamazon.

Question: May one eat while standing?

Answer:

Ideally, food and drink should be consumed while sitting.

Sources: Mishnah Berurah and other halachic authorities.

Notes: Some authorities write that this applies even when eating less than a kezayit.

Question: May someone hold meat or food in his hand while cutting it with a knife?

Answer:

No. The food should be placed on a table or stable surface before cutting.

Reason:

This is prohibited both because of danger — one may cut his hand — and because blood could make the food disgusting.

This applies not only to meat but to all foods.

Question: How far up the hand must one wash for mayim acharonim?

Answer:

One must wash until the end of the second joint of the fingers, and on the thumb until the first joint. Ideally, one should wash until the area where the fingers connect to the palm.

Important Warning:

The Mishnah Berurah strongly criticizes those who merely place a few drops on their fingertips without properly cleaning their hands.

If food residue reached higher up on the fingers, those areas must also be washed.

Additional Practice:

While washing mayim acharonim, one should point the fingertips downward so the impurity and dirt wash away properly.

Question: Must one dry the hands after mayim acharonim?

Answer:

There is a halachic dispute about this. Therefore, ideally one should dry the hands in order to satisfy all opinions.

Question: If someone forgot to wash mayim acharonim before Birkat Hamazon, should he wash afterward?

Answer:

Yes. One should still wash mayim acharonim even after Birkat Hamazon.