“I Had No One Else but Hashem”: Nova Survivor’s Journey to Teshuvah

Barak Nixon, one of the survivors of the massacre at the Nova music festival near Re’im on October 7, recently opened up about the powerful spiritual journey he has experienced since surviving the attack.

After enduring one of the most traumatic events in Israel’s history, Nixon began a process of teshuvah that completely changed the direction of his life. In emotional interviews, he described the terrifying hours he spent hiding from terrorists, the promise he made to Hashem during the attack, and the deep spiritual transformation that followed.

“I Felt I Had No One Else but Hashem”

Nixon shared that he spent eight and a half hours hiding while gunfire and chaos surrounded him.

“I was trapped in the combat zone. Nothing was clear, and I felt I had no chance unless I turned to Hashem,” he said in an interview with HaMechadesh. “I understood that if not Him, then who would save me?”

During those terrifying moments, Nixon made a personal commitment that if he survived, he would fully return to Torah observance and strengthen his connection to Judaism.

A Life Completely Changed

Since surviving the attack, Nixon says his life has taken a completely different direction.

“I’m not taking psychiatric medication. I’m learning Torah and Chassidus, and I’m happy,” he shared.

He acknowledged that some people around him struggle to understand the dramatic change in his lifestyle and beliefs, but he says he feels deeply connected to the path he has chosen.

“People think I’ve gone crazy, but I’m living from an inner truth. I do not ask questions. I simply believe,” he explained.

“I’m Not Ashamed of My Path”

Nixon also emphasized that he has no intention of turning back from the spiritual direction he has chosen.

He quoted the very first halacha in the Shulchan Aruch:
“A person should not be embarrassed before those who mock him in the service of Hashem.”

“I’m not ashamed of my path,” he said.

According to Nixon, Torah learning and connection to Chassidus have become a major source of emotional strength and healing as he continues coping with the trauma of October 7.

Finding Meaning After Trauma

Nixon explained that his spiritual growth has not only helped him emotionally process the horrors he experienced, but has also given his life a completely new sense of meaning and purpose.

“I’m not afraid of the questions,” he said. “I’m happy about the path I’m walking, and every day I thank the Creator for it.”

His story has touched many people across Israel, becoming another example of how, even after unimaginable tragedy, some survivors have found renewed faith, purpose, and spiritual connection.