Finding God in Times of Pain: A Jewish Perspective on Suffering, Prayer, and Spiritual Growth

Times of pain can become times of unique closeness to God, especially when the pain comes through the fulfillment of such a great mitzvah, one that brings immense joy to the Creator. A woman who is aware of this can use the experience of labor pains as an "elevator," lifting her to extraordinary levels of closeness with her Heavenly Father. From this unique connection, she may have the power to bring great blessings into the world.

1. A Powerful Message from Psalm 23

Anyone who studies Psalm 23, "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want," may notice something interesting. At the beginning of the psalm, King David speaks about God in the third person: "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

Later, however, when David describes times of suffering and hardship: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..."

he changes his language and begins speaking directly to God: "I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."

Why the change?

2. God Is with Us in Our Suffering

There seems to be a profound message here, illustrated by the following story.

The members of the Brisk community, led by the great Rabbi Yehoshua Leib Diskin, once protested against a Jew who publicly desecrated Shabbat. The authorities arrested the community leader and threw him into prison. Alone, brokenhearted, and overwhelmed by distress, he sat in his cell wondering what would become of him.

Suddenly, the door opened, and standing there was his revered teacher, Rabbi Yehoshua Leib Diskin, who had also been arrested. Instantly, his mood transformed. Instead of feeling alone, he was overjoyed to be sharing a cell with such a great Torah scholar.

He told his teacher that he now understood the verse: "In all their suffering, He suffers."

The Talmud teaches that when we are in pain, God Himself, so to speak, shares in our suffering. It is as if God enters our personal prison and sits beside us in our distress.

3. During Difficult Times, God Draws Closer

During painful periods, we often feel that God has abandoned us. According to this perspective, the opposite is true.

It is specifically during our hardest moments that God embraces us most closely. He stands beside us and shares our pain, even when we cannot perceive it.

When a father sees one of his children suffering, that child becomes the center of his attention. He feels compassion, draws closer, and does everything possible to help. Likewise, a person who is suffering receives special attention from Heaven and may experience a unique closeness to God.

4. A Woman in Labor Receives Special Compassion

How much more so is this true for a woman willing to endure the pain of childbirth in order to bring a new soul into the world.

According to this teaching, God relates to her with extraordinary love and compassion. If she consciously seeks that closeness, she may be able to feel it with great intensity.

5. A Beautiful Response to Pain: Sharing God's Sorrow

This idea is also reflected in a Midrash on the verse: "May the Lord answer you on the day of distress."

The Midrash compares it to a mother who became angry with her daughter and moved away from her. Some time later, the daughter went into labor and cried out in pain. Hearing her cries, the mother began to cry as well.

The neighbors asked, "Why are you crying? Aren't you angry with her?"

The mother replied: "Even if I am angry, her pain is my pain. My daughter is suffering."

The Midrash explains that similarly, even when there is spiritual distance between God and His people, when they suffer, God shares their pain. As the verse says: "I am with him in distress."

6. "Let Them Share My Honor, and I Will Answer Them"

The Midrash continues by teaching that when people experience hardship, the most elevated response is to include concern for God's honor in their prayers.

God says: "When trouble comes upon Israel and they seek Me, let them share My honor with their own concerns, and then I will answer them."

As it is written: "He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I am with him in distress."

7. Pray for Your Pain and for God's Pain

Commentators explain that a person should pray not only about personal suffering but also about the spiritual pain caused by the world's distance from God and the desecration of His name.

When a person includes concern for God's honor alongside personal requests, their prayers take on a deeper dimension.

8. Hardship Can Rebuild Connection

Just as the crying daughter in the parable helped restore her relationship with her mother, times of suffering can become opportunities to repair and strengthen one's relationship with God.

During hardship, people may become more aware of the deeper feelings of their soul and more sensitive to spiritual realities that are often hidden during ordinary times.

In this way, suffering can become an opportunity to remove barriers, restore closeness, and renew a sense of unity with our Heavenly Father.

9. Awakening Compassion for God's Honor

When experiencing pain, a person can try to awaken an awareness of the sorrow caused by the suffering of God's children and by the desecration of God's name in a world filled with hardship.

This perspective does not diminish personal pain. Rather, it places it within a broader spiritual framework.

10. Transforming Pain into Prayer

Just as there is a spiritual practice known as Tikkun Chatzot, mourning the destruction of the Temple at midnight, there can be a form of Tikkun Tzarah — transforming personal suffering into a moment of deeper spiritual connection.

Whenever a person feels pain, they have an opportunity to turn that experience into heartfelt prayer and renewed closeness to God.

11. A Story of Healing Through a Higher Perspective

A young woman experienced the devastating loss of a baby and fell into deep grief. Months later, she still found it impossible to attend celebrations.

Eventually, she attended a relative's wedding but felt completely disconnected from the joy around her. Unable to bear it, she stepped outside and began crying.

An older woman who noticed her approached and said: "A great tragedy once happened to me as well. For a long time, I could not participate in joyful occasions. Then I discovered a way to rise above my pain. The secret is to share your sorrow with God. Do not cry only for your own suffering. Cry also for the suffering of the Divine Presence, for the pain in the world, for the delayed redemption, and for all the brokenness that causes pain before God. You will find that this elevates your pain and opens the door to healing."

The woman later said that this advice played a significant role in helping her recover emotionally.

A woman who is aware of this opportunity can use pain as an "elevator" to draw closer to God. Through suffering transformed into prayer, connection, and spiritual awareness, she may reach profound levels of faith and closeness, bringing blessing not only to herself but to the entire world.