A Child of Light: The Lasting Impact of Eilai Ben Shabbat z"l

The tragic loss of three-and-a-half-year-old Eilai Ben Shabbat z"l shook an entire nation. Yet amid unimaginable grief, his parents are speaking about faith, purpose, and the precious value of every moment with our loved ones.

"There is no one who sees Eilai's picture and doesn't immediately feel connected to him," says his father, Or Ben Shabbat, holding a photograph of his young son, who was killed last week in a devastating car accident.

"We are still in the very early stages of mourning, and I don't think we have truly begun to process what happened. But one thing is absolutely clear to me: Eilai was a special soul who came into this world to strengthen all of us.

"We felt it from the moment he was born. He brought so much light and joy into our home. Everyone felt a unique connection to him. My mother, who lives in a unit attached to our house, always called him 'my baby.'"

Over the past week, the Ben Shabbat family has discovered that Eilai touched far more than just those closest to him.

"After the accident, we realized that Eilai entered the hearts of the entire Jewish people," Or says. "The innocence, purity, and light that he carried have touched countless people. We have received messages from all over the country from people telling us how much they were strengthened by the way we are trying to cope.

"Those messages helped us understand something we hadn't fully realized before. We are here on a mission. This has become a mission for life."

Eilai Ben Shabbat z"l with his father, Or

A Child Who Filled the Home With Light

The Ben Shabbat family has lived in Or Akiva for many years and is well known in the community, partly because of Or's work as a DJ and music producer.

"When people look at us today, they see a religious family, but that wasn't always the case," he explains. "We became observant about five years ago. At the time, we already had three daughters. After our return to Torah and mitzvot, two sons were born. The younger one was Eilai."

According to Or, Eilai brought something extraordinary into their lives from the moment he arrived.

"When he was born, we felt a tremendous light enter our home. He was simply a child of light.

"Eilai was also our first child to grow up entirely in a world of Torah and faith. He attended a Haredi preschool, wore tzitzit, and had peyot. He was easygoing, joyful, and incredibly special. We felt that from the very beginning."

Or says that throughout their lives, faith has helped the family navigate difficult challenges.

"We've gone through many tests. Whenever things became difficult, my wife would strengthen me. She would tell me, 'Talk to Hashem. He will help you,' and, 'Strengthen yourself in faith and trust.'

"I tried to live by those words. But every time one challenge seemed to end, another one appeared. Sometimes I would look upward and ask, 'Master of the Universe, another test?'

"And apparently the answer was yes. Hashem saw that I was standing up to the challenges and wanted to bring me even closer to Him."

The Phone Call No Parent Wants to Receive

How did he learn about the accident?

"Hashem did me a tremendous kindness," Or says quietly. "When it happened, I wasn't home. I didn't witness the scene."

Later, family members described the aftermath.

"It looked like the scene of a terror attack. There were ambulances, police vehicles, ZAKA volunteers, and crowds of residents filling the street. Everyone came outside.

"Resuscitation efforts were performed on Eilai, but they were unsuccessful. Thank G-d, I was spared seeing those heartbreaking moments."

His wife, however, was there.

"She was holding Eilai after the accident and immediately understood that he no longer had the breath of life. In that moment, surrounded by all the chaos, she said Shema Yisrael with him one final time."

A short time later, she called her husband.

"She spoke calmly and said, 'A car hit Eilai. There was an accident. They've been trying to revive him for ten minutes. Come quickly. He's not breathing.'

"Of course, I immediately got into the car and drove home. During the drive, I was already processing what she had told me. Deep down, I understood that he was probably no longer with us."

At the hospital, doctors continued trying to save him.

"But in reality, he left this world at the moment of the accident. Hashem took him back in an instant."

Faith in the Midst of Tragedy

At the funeral, Or thanked Hashem for the privilege of being Eilai's father for three and a half years. He also asked his son for forgiveness.

"Even during the eulogy, I emphasized that I wasn't angry at anyone and wasn't blaming anyone," he says.

"Nobody is at fault. It is clear to me that this was a decree from Heaven. We are not making claims against anyone. We believe in the Creator of the world. Everything comes from Him.

"I don't know how people survive something like this without faith. Faith is the only thing holding us up."

Many people facing tragedy ask, "Why me?"

Or admits that he has asked that question too.

"I ask why Hashem chose me for this test. But I believe I know the answer.

"The Creator knows that I am capable of enduring it.

"That understanding gives me strength because it means this did not happen for no reason."

A Mission to Strengthen Others

In the days since the tragedy, Or has been overwhelmed by the response from people across the country.

"I have a neighbor who is a Torah scholar. After the funeral, he told me, 'I couldn't stop crying. At my own mother's funeral I didn't cry like this. Your words strengthened me so much.'

"And the messages keep coming. People tell me that hearing our story changed their perspective on life. They spend more time with their children. They work less. They appreciate their families more.

"When I hear that, I think maybe this is the mission that Eilai and I were given. Maybe we were sent here to remind people what truly matters."

One recent experience left a particularly deep impression on him.

"I was walking to synagogue and saw two drivers arguing over a parking spot. I just stood there in shock.

"I wanted to cry out to them: 'I lost what was most precious to me. How can you waste your life fighting over something like this? Is this really what matters?'"

Today, Or sees himself as carrying a message.

"I feel like a messenger," he says.

"I don't intend to keep this to myself. I want to share it wherever I can. I have even thought about speaking before Torah classes and sharing what we've learned: appreciate every moment and never take your loved ones for granted."

An Accident Beyond Human Understanding

When was the last time he spoke to Eilai?

"It was that same day. He was playing with the other children and eating ice pops. I called to him, but he was busy and probably didn't hear me."

A short while later, Or left the house.

"My wife says he asked for another snack, and after that she didn't see him."

Looking back, Or finds it impossible to view the sequence of events as random.

"We don't believe anything happens by chance.

"We live on a Dutch style street where only residents are supposed to drive. Eilai was a careful child who never went out alone. That day he followed his brothers to a neighbor's house, which was highly unusual.

"At that exact moment, the driver entered our street after missing a turn he had successfully made for decades.

"Too many details came together with such precision. We cannot see it as coincidence."

He then shares another detail that left a deep impression on the family.

"That very morning, before the accident, my wife posted a message on her status that said: 'Hashem gave and Hashem took away. We must remember that everything is for the good.'

"She wrote that before she had any idea what was about to happen."

The pain, he says, is immense.

"The void is enormous. But at the same time, we feel that Someone is guiding everything. And if that is true, then we want to accept His will with love and humility."

Eilai Ben Shabbat z"l with his father, Or

What Gives Them Strength?

The Ben Shabbat family is now rising from shivah, taking its first steps back into everyday life.

What gives them the strength to continue?

"Without question, the Creator of the world," Or answers. "And of course, my family, especially my wife. She is holding all of us up."

Then he shares another deeply personal detail.

"About a month ago, we discovered that my wife is pregnant.

"I remember sitting there and wondering, 'How do people raise a sixth child? Is my entire purpose in this world simply to raise children?'

"Those thoughts were unfamiliar to me because of the environment in which I grew up.

"Now I have received the clearest answer possible.

"I understand in the most tangible way that this truly is our purpose. We must love our children and cherish every moment we have with them, because those moments are more precious than gold."

He also speaks with deep gratitude about the support they have received.

"The Jewish people have given us incredible strength. Friends, family, neighbors, and complete strangers have surrounded us with love and support.

"They are carrying us.

"Please continue being with us," he says. "We all need that strength."