What Judaism Teaches About Dignity: The Forgotten Culture of Honor, Eating, and Self-Respect

There was a time when the word culture referred to education, learning, values, and refinement. Today we hear expressions such as “food culture,” “housing culture,” and occasionally culture that is actually culture in the traditional sense. We might not complain about that, nor about conversations centered on culinary experiences — which have even found their way into religious and ultra-Orthodox circles. However, when parts of that so-called culture lead people away from the most basic standards of civility, the issue deserves discussion.

This week’s Torah portion teaches us that Judaism indeed recognizes a concept of a culture of eating — one that brings values and dignity into the act of eating itself. It reminds a person of their status and nobility even while enjoying a meal. As we said: a culture of eating, not merely a culture of food.

In our parashah, regarding the Passover sacrifice, the Torah commands: “You shall not break a bone in it.” (Exodus 12:46)

The Sefer HaChinuch, written about eight hundred years ago and devoted to explaining the reasons behind the commandments, writes concerning this prohibition:

“One may not break any of the bones of the Passover offering… For it is not fitting for princes and counselors of the land to gnaw and break bones like dogs. Such behavior is appropriate only for the poor and hungry. Therefore, when we first became God’s treasured nation, a kingdom of priests and a holy people, and every year at that same time, it is fitting for us to perform actions that demonstrate the great distinction bestowed upon us. Through these actions and symbols, the concept becomes permanently engraved in our souls.”

According to the Sefer HaChinuch, the purpose of this commandment is to instill dignified behavior while eating. We must remember that we are a noble people, a treasured nation, and that this status should be reflected even in the way we eat.

On the very day that commemorates our emergence as a nation through the eating of the Passover sacrifice, which symbolizes the Exodus from Egypt and our first national independence, the Torah reminds us that this independence carries with it a responsibility. We are to live as people of dignity and refinement. Even while enjoying the aroma and pleasure of roasted meat, we must never forget who we are.

Conduct Reflects Character

Judaism contains an entire body of laws governing proper conduct, including etiquette at the table. There is even a tractate known as Derech Eretz (“Proper Conduct”), which outlines standards for eating and social behavior.

The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 170) includes detailed laws concerning table manners, such as:

• The size of a bite a person should place in their mouth.

• The size of the piece of food one should hold in hand.

• Not drinking an entire cup in a single gulp.

• Being considerate of the comfort and feelings of those around you.

These laws are intended not only to create a pleasant environment but also to cultivate self-control and dignity in every situation.

Among these laws is one principle so significant that, according to Maimonides, a person who ignores it is considered so lacking in dignity that his word cannot be fully trusted.

A Matter of Honor

Maimonides writes in the Laws of Testimony (11:5): “Those who are considered disgraceful are disqualified from giving testimony by rabbinic law. This includes people who walk through the marketplace eating in public before everyone, or those who go about improperly dressed while engaged in degrading labor, and others like them who have no concern for shame. Such people are regarded like dogs and are not careful regarding false testimony.”

According to Maimonides, a person who lacks a sense of dignity may also lack sensitivity to the seriousness of falsehood. The common expression, “a man of his word,” reflects this concept. A person's commitment to honoring his word stems from an inner sense of honor.

Human beings were created in the image of God, and the soul itself is associated with honor. As King David says: “So that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.” (Psalms 30:13)

The soul possesses an innate awareness of true dignity. It quietly tells a person, “This is beneath you.” Not in the superficial sense of “What will people think?” but from a deeper awareness rooted in the Divine image within.

People who casually eat while walking through the street may no longer feel that inner discomfort. They have either silenced that voice repeatedly or become so spiritually coarse that the soul’s message can scarcely be heard.

Maimonides teaches that one cannot rely on the word of a person who has lost this sense of dignity.

“A Drunk Is a Gentile”

As the Jewish ideal of dignity and refinement weakens, another danger can creep in under the banner of “culture.”

In much of the secular world today, there exists a culture of drinking that often celebrates intoxication. Yet there is little that is more degrading than drunkenness and the behaviors that accompany it. A person knowingly surrenders control of his mind, behaves foolishly, and may bring lasting embarrassment upon himself.

The phrase “losing one’s mind” should sound familiar. Throughout Jewish history, such behavior was viewed with discomfort and revulsion.

There was an old Yiddish expression: “A drunk is a gentile.”

The point was not an insult to others, but the idea that habitual drunkenness was considered foreign to Jewish values. A drunken Jew was seen as something abnormal.

True, there is a well-known discussion among halachic authorities regarding the mitzvah of drinking on Purim, and much ink has been spilled on that subject. Yet everyone agrees that outside the unique context of Purim, drunkenness has no place in Jewish life.

Remember Who We Are

Let us remind ourselves of the message contained in this week’s Torah portion: “A treasured nation among all peoples, a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.”

Therefore, it is fitting that our actions reflect the greatness of that calling. As the Sefer HaChinuch explains, through dignified actions and meaningful habits, these values become permanently rooted within us.

The way we eat, speak, dress, and conduct ourselves is never merely external. It shapes who we become.

And through those daily acts of dignity and refinement, we affirm our identity as a people called to live with honor, holiness, and purpose.