Parshat Pinchas: The Memories That Shape Our Lives

Sometimes the lessons we remember most are not the ones we are taught, but the ones we experience. This week's parsha reminds us that memory has a powerful purpose. While forgetting can be a blessing, there are certain lessons the Torah wants us to carry with us forever.

A Lesson the Bully Never Forgot

"Let's make a circus out of him," a group of bored hooligans laughed as they decided to mock the elderly rabbi.

One of them approached the rabbi with a smirk and claimed to suffer from three "illnesses." He said he had lost his sense of taste, was a chronic liar, and constantly forgot everything.

The rabbi listened carefully and nodded.

"Your illnesses are very serious," he replied. "Come back in two hours, and your remedy will be ready."

The group walked away struggling not to burst into laughter.

Two hours later, they returned to find a tray of beautiful chocolate balls. They looked so delicious that even the others wished they had been the patients.

The rabbi handed one to the young man.

"Place it in your mouth and chew as quickly as you can."

After swallowing several of them, the young man suddenly spat them out in disgust.

"These are goat droppings covered in chocolate!"

The rabbi smiled.

"Wonderful. Two of your illnesses have already been cured. Your sense of taste has returned, and for once, you have told the truth."

The embarrassed bully turned bright red.

"And what about my third illness?" he asked. "My forgetfulness?"

The rabbi smiled gently.

"What happened today," he replied, "you will never forget."

Why Does the Torah Mention Dathan and Abiram Again?

This week's parsha briefly returns to the story of Korach's rebellion:

"The sons of Eliab: Nemuel and Dathan and Abiram... and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them... and they became a sign."

At first glance, this seems surprising.

After all, the rebellion of Korach took place several parshiyot earlier. Why does the Torah mention Dathan and Abiram again?

Even more puzzling are the words:

"...and they became a sign."

How could people who disappeared into the ground become a lasting sign? Once they were swallowed up, they were no longer visible. As the saying goes, "Out of sight, out of mind."

The Lion Cub's Mistake

A lion once prepared his young cub for life in the forest.

"You have nothing to fear from human beings," he said. "We lions are far stronger. Whenever you see a person, be brave."

The cub listened eagerly.

Soon afterward, while exploring the forest, he came across an abandoned building. Painted on its wall was the image of a man tearing apart a young lion with his bare hands.

The frightened cub ran home.

"Father," he cried, "why didn't you tell me the truth? I saw a human killing a lion with his bare hands!"

The older lion laughed.

"My son," he explained, "that was Samson. There was one man in history who possessed extraordinary spiritual strength and defeated a lion. That is why people painted the scene. No one paints a lion defeating a man because that is ordinary. But something rare and extraordinary is remembered."

A Lasting Reminder

Rashi explains the phrase "they became a sign" as follows:

"As a sign and a remembrance, so that no outsider should again come near to challenge the priesthood."

The Sefat Emet expands on this idea.

The Torah repeats the story because the extraordinary way Dathan and Abiram died was meant to leave a permanent impression on the Jewish people. The absence of a normal grave became an enduring reminder of the consequences of challenging the priesthood that Hashem established.

The goal was not merely to record history but to preserve a lesson that future generations would never forget.

Remembering What Truly Matters

The Sefat Emet's explanation also sheds light on another well known Torah commandment.

Regarding Amalek, the Torah commands:

"You shall erase the memory of Amalek from beneath the heavens; do not forget."

At first, this seems contradictory. If we are commanded to erase Amalek's memory, why are we also told not to forget?

The answer is that the Torah is not asking us to preserve Amalek's honor or legacy. Rather, we are commanded to remember the spiritual danger that Amalek represents.

By continually distancing ourselves from the attitudes and values symbolized by Amalek, we ensure that we never repeat those mistakes.

That is the remembrance the Torah wants us to preserve.

The Gift of Forgetting and the Blessing of Remembering

Forgetfulness often frustrates us, but it is also one of Hashem's gifts.

If every pain, disappointment, and hardship remained constantly alive in our hearts, life would become unbearable. The ability to gradually forget painful experiences allows us to heal and move forward.

At the same time, there are certain lessons we should never forget.

Painful experiences, spiritual mistakes, and moments that teach us lasting truths can become guideposts that protect us from repeating harmful choices.

The Torah teaches that true wisdom is knowing what to let go of and what to hold onto forever. Some memories are meant to fade. Others are meant to shape us for a lifetime.