Hatarat Nedarim — Annulment of Vows

Do Hatarat Nedarim — unmarried women should go and say it as well. 

The idea is to nullify any nedarim we do not remember we made. Additionally, regarding good habits we may have taken on that became like a neder, we are now saying that even when we continue them, we are doing so bli neder. We are also saying that any new hanagot tovot that we take on are bli neder.

A. The sin of making vows is very severe. Therefore, the annulment of vows is performed on the eve of Rosh Hashanah, after Shacharit or Selichot.

B. One should always refrain from making vows and oaths, and should say “bli neder” (“without a vow”) before every good deed one performs.

C. A husband/father may serve as an emissary to annul the vows of his wife and his young sons and daughters before Rosh Hashanah.

D. Women who are married should not come to the synagogue and participate in a public annulment of vows.

E. One may participate in an annulment of vows before Rosh Hashanah that is conducted on the radio or through a live broadcast, provided that those conducting the annulment on the program can also hear the participants’ annulment of vows in their homes. (The Halichot Olam organization wrote that, according to the custom of reciting the annulment three times rather than saying “bli neder,” it is also possible to annul vows through an emissary, and one is not required to appear before the judges. Since the annulment is only rabbinic, it is sufficient for the emissary to recite the wording before ten judges who conduct the annulment and specify that it is also effective for those watching and listening through the broadcast or radio.

F. The annulment of vows benefits only vows that one does not remember. A vow that one remembers requires a special annulment before a rabbi.

G. The annulment of vows may also be performed at night. The custom is to do so after the Selichot of that night.

Make Things Right Before the New Year

Apologize to anyone I may have hurt or spoken badly about: ask for Selicha and Mechila. If you need to return any money to anyone, now is the time.

Ask Hashem for how much money I want this year and commit to giving maasrot (10% of income). Start now; give what I can and even more than that to show Hashem my emunah.

Judge Others Favorably — and You Will Be Judged Favorably

Judge others favorably, and you will be judged favorably.

If you see someone committing transgressions, say to yourself, “Poor guy, he doesn’t really understand how bad what he’s doing is.” Know that if you are being shown an Aveira, it is because you yourself have something to fix in that same realm.

For example, imagine you see someone making a BBQ on Shabbat, heaven forbid. If your reaction is, “Wow, what a Rasha! He’s going to get punished,” consider that perhaps you too are creating “fire” on Shabbat, just in a different way. Maybe, for example, you scream at your wife on Shabbat. Whatever punishment you declared that he deserves may be the very judgment applied to you. If you were perfect in your shemirat Shabbat, you would not be shown someone who is mechalel Shabbat.

If you see someone screaming at another person, do you judge them favorably? The truth is that you are judging yourself!! So be sure to judge others favorably, because you do not know whether you might have acted even worse if you were in their position.

Everything you are being shown reflects something within you. How are you going to judge them? That is how you will be judged! If you learn to judge others favorably, you will also be judged favorably from above B”H.

The Eve of Rosh Hashanah

A. Men have the custom of getting a haircut and immersing in a mikveh on the eve of Rosh Hashanah. They do not recite a blessing over the immersion.

B. It is good to visit a cemetery to recite Psalms, taking care that the deceased should serve as advocates of merit. It is forbidden to request anything from the deceased; instead, one should ask Hashem to answer in the merit of the deceased. 

C. A woman who needs to immerse on the second day should prepare for this before the festival begins, and should coordinate in advance with the mikveh attendant.

Preparations on the Eve of Rosh Hashanah

A. It is a mitzvah to gladden one’s wife with a gift and one’s children with sweets in honor of every festival, and to rejoice on the festivals by eating meat and drinking wine. (Rambam and Shulchan Aruch, siman 529.)

B. Several foods are eaten on Rosh Hashanah as a good sign. They are called “simanim,” and they should be prepared in advance.

C. Sephardim and Yemenites eat as a good sign: dates, pomegranates, apples, legumes, leek, beet, gourd, black-eyed peas, and the head of a sheep.

Learning and Getting in the Zone

Beyond the practical preparations, there is also the inner preparation: our thoughts, our emunah, our relationships, and the way we approach change.

HaShalom

Why do we say HaShalom? Says the Arizal, there’s a special malach whose name we’re not allowed to say, and his gematria is the same as the one of HaShalom. This Malach is in charge of writing us in the book of life. So it’s good to have Kavana when saying that as well.
What’s the connection between HaShalom and Sefer Hachayim, the book of life? Whoever has Shalom Bayit is zoche for being inscribed in the book of life. HaShalom, peace, brings HaChaim, life.

Stop Making Excuses

Stop making excuses for not doing Mitzvot.

Waking up late.

Stop looking for excuses for Ben Adam le Chavero. Change your actions.

Even when your excuses are valid, this won’t move you forward. We need solutions. Actions.

Do. Solve. Start. Work. 

Show up. Every day. 

Stop making excuses because it won’t move you forward. 

Start acting, and you will start moving forward. 

Consistency is key.

Do the Teshuva Before Rosh Hashanah — Then Enter With Good Thoughts

On Rosh Hashanah we do not do any Teshuva. We do all our Cheshbon Hanefesh and all the Teshuva in Elul, and then come into Rosh Hashanah ready after having asked Hashem for forgiveness and selichot. We come in with Good Thoughts Only!!

Rosh Hashanah is the head of the whole year, and thoughts are in the head. This controls our whole year. MACHSHAVA TOVA is also related to Shalom. When you have Shalom with the ones around you and with yourself — inner peace as well — you will naturally have good, pleasant, and peaceful thoughts in your mind.

A little deeper: when a person has bad thoughts, it’s when he doesn’t have emunah. You can only have quiet in your mind when you believe Hashem is in control and you trust Him. So when you strengthen your emuna, you’ll also have that inner peace. Make sure to have only good thoughts on Rosh Hashanah, and vibrate on a good frequency.

Trust Hashem: Hashem, You know everything!!! I don’t know everything. We need to Tashlich our mind and be “naive,” so to speak, as a baby. Stop thinking so much. Just trust Hashem, our Father, our King. Throw out your mind; have Emunah and Bitachon and Shalva and Shalom.

Be Careful With Your Thoughts

The Holy Baal Shem Tov teaches us to be very careful with our thoughts. If a wife thinks or speaks negatively about her husband or children, maybe that’s why he’s having issues in his Parnash? Maybe it’s your accusation and prosecution? Maybe that’s why your daughter isn’t finding her husband yet after years of searching?

Be careful and mindful of your thoughts. See the good!! Ayin Tova!! Kav Zechut!!

Remind yourself: I don’t deserve anything.

Try to stop having high expectations of everyone around you.

Stop speaking negatively. Look for the Nekudot Tovot and see the good in everyone around you.

Return What Does Not Belong to You

If you stole from someone or owe any money, now is the time to give it back. If you can’t remember the specific situation, donate to Tzedakah and say it goes lezechut the ones I stole from throughout my life; may this be for their success and blessing.

Two Choices in This World

In this world, we have two choices:

We can either do the Mitzvot and fix our middot, or Hashem will have to give us issurim, hardships, to do our tikkun. What path do you choose?

Would you rather give Tzedakah and earn merit for it, or, Chas Ve Shalom, pay a medical bill? You lose the money either way. The choice is in YOUR HANDS of HOW you wanna lose it: by giving it and receiving merit, or by getting sick and being forced to pay for medicine, Chas Ve Shalom?

The Mashal of Brit Milah

Mashal with Brit Milah: Hashem is a Mohel. It’s a good thing, but it’s also painful.

If I don’t want issurim — the blood, pain, etc. — I have to give myself a spiritual Brit Milah: remove the peel and negativity from my mouth, speech, ears, eyes, and actions.

And that way Hashem will not have to give me issurim because I’m doing it myself. I’m creating the challenge, and it’s a good challenge for a mitzvah.

It’s like when you give Tzedakah: it’s instead of Hashem giving you traffic tickets. You’ll lose the money anyways; you might as well go ahead and get a mitzvah from it.

Rosh Hashanah on Shabbat

This year, because Rosh Hashanah is on Shabbat, there is no Shofar; Shabbat is our Shofar.

Did you know: the reason there is no shofar is just in case one guy would accidentally violate the Shabbat to take the shofar in a place without an eiruv? So none of us blow the shofar — which is our protection for the whole year — on Shabbat, just because of that one potential case that would probably never happen?!

This comes to perhaps teach us the vast importance of keeping every single detail of the Shabbat, and learning the halachot in order to not be mechalel Shabbat C”V in any way.

Fun Facts & Halachot from Rabbi Yirmiyahu Cohen

This year, Rosh Hashanah falls on Shabbat and Sunday; we only blow the Shofar on Sunday, not on Shabbat.

1. There is a Mitzvah from the Torah to hear the shofar.

2. Women are exempt, as it is a time-bound Mitzvah; nonetheless, the minhag is for them to hear it anyways.

3. In shul, 101 sounds are blown. The person who blows makes the blessing.

4. During Mussaf, he blows six times, each time 10 sounds, for a total of 60 sounds: 30 during the silent Mussaf and another 30 during the repetition of Mussaf. We stand throughout.

5. The Tokea blesses 2 blessings: Lishmoa Kol Shofar and Shehechiyanu.

6. If a man blows for ladies only, he doesn’t make any blessing.

7. We fulfill our obligation if we hear 30 sounds; though it is best to hear all 101.

8. We fulfill our obligation if we hear the shofar at any time of the day between sunrise and sunset.

9. Women shouldn’t bring rowdy children to shul; better they stay home.

Shabbat Shalom, & Shanna Tova U' Metuka!