The True Measure of Success

If you had three boys, would you give them almost exactly the same name?

That is exactly what Lemech (a gr. gr. gr. grandson of Cain) did. He named his eldest Yaval, the second son Yuval, and the third Tuval-Cain. You can imagine the confusion it must have caused in the Lemech household when one of the mothers Adah and Tzila (for those were their names) called upstairs for a son, and the three boys each thought it was them being called for!

This section of the Torah appears to be describing the significant technological developments of early humanity. Yaval was the originator of nomadic livestock herding, moving his tent with his herd as they travelled on to pastures new. Yuval was the father of instrumental music, inventing the lyre and the early flute. Meanwhile Tuval created metalworking, forging tools out of bronze and iron.

A family of innovators! And like all uber-accomplished families, it begins with the obsession of the parents! Their drive to get their children to succeed started already when they named their children, because the three names are all related to the Hebrew three letter root Y-V-L which means to lead, move or bring forth.

In Modern Hebrew, when you are moving home and need a company to bring your belongings, it is called Hovala, from the same root. In farming, what the ground yields, what it brings forth, is called Yevul. And, as Ramban points out, the Hebrew word Yovel, Jubilee, refers to the 50th year where all property was brought back to its rightful owner, and Jewish slaves were brought to their rightful status as free men.

Although the words of the Torah do not imply anything negative about them, the Midrash explains that each of these brothers chose to bring forth their innovation for the purposes of evil. They understand that Yaval was actually setting up tents wherever he went to act as temples of idolatry. Yuval then furnished the priests with musical instruments to accompany their songs of glory to the idols. Meanwhile Tuval chose a different evil and spent his time fashioning metal weapons for murder and conquest.

So it is with every skill and ability that we develop. It would seem to be that the parents were so busy pushing the work ethic and the value of accomplishment, that they forgot to teach the family the concept that success is only a value when it brings goodness into the world.

Perhaps Lemech learnt his lesson. We are told that he had another child, a daughter, who was named Na’ama. Na’ama does not mean lead, bring forth, create or innovate. It just means ‘pleasant’. And according to the Midrash, Na’ama grew up and married Noach, standing by his side with her pleasant nature as the morality of society collapsed around them.

There are people who may be considered leading speakers in the world. They may be performers, stand-up artists, podcasters with millions of subscribers, politicians and activists. But being a leader and creator in your field doesn’t mean anything if your success creates division, chaos and hurt. A truly successful speaker is one who ensures that everything is pleasant, every word carefully thought out so it builds and doesn’t destroy.

How many views you get is not the measure of success, how many hearts you repaired, how many lives you uplifted, is.

By Rabbi Menachem Salasnik - Words Change Worlds

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