Divorced Twice by 25: The Long-Distance Love Story That Changed Everything

“Recently, I came across a post written by a woman who had completely lost hope,” Shira Cohen begins. “She had been divorced twice, couldn't trust anyone anymore, and was convinced she would never get married again. Her words were filled with so much despair that even though I didn't know her, I felt I had to reach out.”

Shira sent the woman a personal message, sharing her own experiences and offering encouragement. “I told her that I'd been through something very similar, but that today I'm in a completely different place. I wanted her to know that no matter what she's been through, there's still reason to hope.”

At 29, Shira works in travel planning and hospitality, manages several projects, and devotes much of her time to encouraging others, particularly women navigating the challenges of Jewish matchmaking.

After years of disappointment and two failed marriages, she is now preparing to marry a man she met under circumstances she could never have imagined.

“If I tried to describe our relationship, it would probably sound like something out of a movie,” she says. “What are the chances of meeting someone who lives on the other side of the world, having him fly all the way to Israel just to meet you, and then maintaining a long-distance relationship for seven months? But that's exactly what happened. And because I know how difficult the journey can be, I want other women to know that their story isn't necessarily over.”

Two Marriages, Two Divorces, and Years of Searching

Shira's journey began when she married for the first time at just 18 and a half, shortly after graduating from high school.

“I was young and naive,” she recalls. “I didn't realize I was entering a toxic relationship. From the very beginning, things weren't right. We simply weren't suited to each other, and everything seemed to go wrong.”

The marriage became increasingly painful, and even ending it proved difficult. Shira spent an entire year waiting for her husband to grant her a get, the Jewish religious divorce document.

“Thank Hashem, I eventually managed to leave that destructive relationship,” she says.

At 21, newly divorced and hoping for a fresh start, she decided to travel alone to South America.

Although she hadn't grown up in an observant home, Shira had embraced religious observance at 16. But after everything she had experienced, she found herself struggling with her faith.

“I went to a Chabad house because I needed some encouragement,” she explains. “Someone there told me about Igrot Kodesh, a collection of letters written by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, which some people turn to for spiritual guidance.”

Shira wrote a letter and opened the collection to a response addressed to someone who had asked about their purpose in life.

“The Rebbe's answer was that the person's purpose was to work with young people, bring hearts closer, and help others grow spiritually. It described my personality so perfectly that I felt it was speaking directly to me.”

The experience gave her a renewed sense of direction.

“I felt that this was what I needed to do. And even today, I try to encourage people and help them strengthen their faith whenever I can.”

She returned to Israel feeling more hopeful and determined to build a healthy marriage. Three years later, she married for a second time.

But that relationship also ended in divorce.

“At least the process was quicker this time, and I received my get without the long struggle I'd experienced before,” she says.

By 25, Shira had been divorced twice. The emotional toll was enormous, and the thought of beginning another search for a husband was frightening.

“I was scared, and I had good reason to be,” she admits. “But it was actually during that difficult period that I began to understand things differently.”

She enrolled in a midrasha, a Jewish women's Torah study program, and found tremendous strength in her learning.

Around that time, she once again turned to the Rebbe's Igrot Kodesh, this time asking for reassurance that she would one day build a home filled with love, peace, mutual respect, and Torah values.

“I received an answer that deeply encouraged me,” she recalls. “From that moment, I felt certain that I would eventually get married again. I stopped allowing the circumstances around me to determine what I believed was possible.”

Still, another four years would pass before she met her future husband.

During those years, Shira built a travel business while working another demanding job. She continued dating, considering matchmaking suggestions, and investing in her personal and spiritual growth.

“I believed I needed to prepare myself for the blessing I was hoping to receive,” she says. “For me, the question was no longer whether it would happen, but when.”

Where did you find the strength to keep going?

“From Hashem,” she answers. “I'm a baalat teshuvah, someone who became religiously observant later in life. I could have chosen to return to the life I knew before, but I wasn't willing to give up on my faith.”

She continued putting herself out there, going on dates, and trying to remain positive despite repeated disappointments.

“I believed that when someone makes sacrifices to draw closer to Hashem, those efforts aren't forgotten. Sometimes, before a breakthrough, we go through situations that test our patience. I came to see those difficult periods not simply as obstacles, but as opportunities to grow.”

A Match That Began Thousands of Miles Away

Then, about seven months before the interview, something unexpected happened.

Shortly beforehand, Shira had written a detailed list of the qualities she hoped to find in a husband.

“I wrote down absolutely everything,” she says with a smile. “Even though I was optimistic, I never imagined I'd meet someone who matched what I was looking for so closely.”

And the man she met wasn't even living in Israel.

He was in New York.

“For the first month, we communicated entirely through text messages,” Shira recalls. “It seemed so complicated. He was in New York, and I was in Israel. How could a relationship like that possibly develop?”

But the connection grew stronger. Their messages turned into long phone conversations, and after about a month, he told her he was flying to Israel specifically to meet her.

Once they met in person, their relationship quickly became more serious.

“Simcha, my fiancé, eventually had to return to New York,” Shira explains. “From that point on, we spent seven months navigating a long-distance relationship between two countries.”

It wasn't easy. They faced the challenges of demanding jobs, the ongoing war, uncertainty, and the emotional strain of being separated.

“There was so much distance, so much longing, and plenty of worry,” she says. “But despite everything, we kept choosing each other and working to build our relationship.”

Looking back, Shira believes their meeting was anything but accidental.

“Today, I feel certain that Hashem brought us together. Our story taught me that the person meant for you can find their way into your life, even if they're on the other side of the world.”

During their relationship, Shira also experienced a dream that left a lasting impression on her.

“I dreamed about my late grandfather, Grandpa Meir, on my mother's side,” she shares. “In the dream, Simcha and I were standing together beneath a chuppah, the Jewish wedding canopy. It was surrounded by an incredible light.”

Her grandfather stood beside her, dressed in white, smiling.

“He placed his hands on my head and said, ‘I'm proud of you. You've brought me joy in Heaven. Be happy. You've found your place.’”

For Shira, the dream was a deeply moving source of comfort and encouragement.

“Even After Two Divorces, You Still Deserve Happiness”

At the time of the interview, Simcha was preparing to return to Israel to spend the holiday season with Shira and make arrangements for their wedding.

“Watching everything finally come together is incredibly emotional,” she says. “I look back at the years of waiting, the heartbreak, the prayers, and all the uncertainty, and I feel that every part of the journey brought me to where I am today.”

Her experience has also shaped the way she thinks about relationships, both with another person and with Hashem.

“In a healthy relationship, it's not just about what you receive. It's also about what you give,” she explains. “I think our relationship with Hashem should be the same. Instead of only asking what He can give us, we should also ask what we can do to grow closer to Him.”

She believes that commitment becomes especially meaningful when circumstances are difficult.

“A relationship isn't only tested when everything is wonderful and easy. It's also tested during times of distance, hardship, and longing, when you continue choosing the person you're with. I see a similar principle in our relationship with Hashem.”

Throughout her years of praying for a husband, Shira says she tried to focus not only on finding love, but also on the kind of home she wanted to build.

“I asked Hashem to help me create a home that would honor Him. I prayed that it would be a place of hospitality, that I would respect my husband and his parents, and that our marriage would be built on genuine Torah values.”

She sees her upcoming marriage as the answer to years of heartfelt prayers.

“Today, more than ever, I believe that no sincere prayer is wasted.”

And for women who are still searching, particularly those who have already experienced the pain of divorce, Shira has a message she hopes they will remember.

“Pray for your match from the depths of your heart, and don't lose hope. Even if you've been through one failed marriage, or more than one, that doesn't make you any less worthy of love.”

She knows how easily disappointment can turn into self-doubt, especially when another relationship ends and the future feels uncertain.

But she wants women to remember that their past does not determine their value.

“You are still a diamond, and you deserve a wonderful marriage,” she says. “Don't give up on the values that matter to you. Remember that you are a daughter of the King. Stay committed to halacha (Jewish law), maintain your boundaries, and keep your faith.”

For Shira, the journey from two painful divorces to an unexpected engagement across the ocean has become a reminder that even after years of heartbreak, a new chapter can begin.

“Never give up,” she says. “With Hashem's help, your moment of happiness can still come.”