The Right Way to Pray: Rabbi Nachman’s Teaching on Prayer and Trust in Hashem

In Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers 2:13), Rabbi Shimon teaches: “Be careful in the recitation of the Shema and in prayer. And when you pray, do not make your prayer a fixed obligation, but rather an appeal for mercy and supplication before the Omnipresent, blessed be He.”

Rabbi Shimon emphasizes an essential aspect of prayer: We should approach Hashem with humility, seeking His mercy rather than demanding that our wishes be fulfilled.

This principle is also established in Jewish law. The Shulchan Aruch states: “One should pray in a manner of supplication, like a poor person pleading at the door, gently and calmly, and should not appear as though prayer is a burden from which one wishes to be relieved” (Orach Chaim 98:3).

Why Prayer Should Be an Appeal for Mercy

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, in Likutei Moharan (196), explains why prayer must take the form of heartfelt supplication rather than insistence:

“A person must not stubbornly insist in prayer that the Holy One, blessed be He, fulfill his specific request, for this is like taking something by force, through theft. Rather, one should pray and plead before Hashem with mercy and supplication. If Hashem grants his request, He grants it; and if not, then not.”

Rabbi Nachman further emphasizes that this principle applies to every type of request, whether for livelihood, children, or any other personal need. A person must not insist that Hashem fulfill a particular prayer, as doing so transforms prayer into an attempt to demand or forcibly claim something. Instead, one should turn to Hashem with genuine humility, asking for compassion and recognizing that the outcome ultimately rests in His hands.

The Deeper Meaning of Prayer Without Demands

Rabbi Nachman offers an additional explanation of the word keva, commonly understood as something fixed or obligatory. He connects it to the Hebrew term for theft or taking something by force.

He bases this interpretation on the verse in Proverbs, “And rob those who rob them” (Proverbs 22:23), where the word keva conveys the meaning of robbery. The commentary Metzudat Tzion explains this usage by referring to the verse in Malachi: “Will a person rob God?” (Malachi 3:8).

Through this interpretation, Rabbi Nachman teaches that prayer should never become an attempt to force a particular outcome.

The message is that while we should certainly bring our deepest needs and desires before Hashem, we must do so with humility rather than demands. True prayer means pouring out our hearts, pleading for Divine mercy, and placing our trust in Hashem, without insisting that our wishes be fulfilled exactly as we envision.